Good Sex @ NYU
What is Good Sex @ NYU?! Or maybe you’re secretly wondering what is good sex…period.
These questions are real and we’re excited to lighten the load of shame or embarrassment that tends to surround the topic with “Good Sex @NYU," a new podcast created by the NYU Student Health Center and Sexual and Relationship Respect Services.
We aim to destigmatize conversations around sex and relationships while providing practical information to NYU students and our community. From stories of pleasure to compassionate insights, you’ll hear NYU community members discuss how they feel about their sexual journey, helpful information on the stigma around sex, education, and so much more!
So, if you’re looking for sometimes serious, sometimes funny, always sex-positive discussions, join Danielle Elleman and April Fellers in a Good Sex @ NYU experience.
This Season on Good Sex @ NYU
Episode 1: What is Good Sex @ NYU?
Release Date: 9/19/2022
Episode Description
Welcome to Good Sex @NYU! Join us for our inaugural episode to learn more about co-hosts April & Danielle, our passion for this topic, and why we think this conversation is so important for the NYU community. We also share about the podcast structure and what you can expect from us each week, as well as a sneak peak about future content.
We end the episode with a discussion about emergency department experiences for someone who chooses to seek medical treatment after experiencing a sexual assault or relationship violence. We know this conversation may be difficult for some. Take care of yourself, listen to your body, and turn off the episode, if needed.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Books
Sexual Citizens by Jennifer Hirsch and Shamus Khan 2020
Podcasts
Esther Perel, Where Should We Begin
Glennon Doyle, We Can Do Hard Things
Episode 2: Interview with Jason Pina, Vice President for University Life and Global Engagement
Release Date: 9/19/2022
Episode Description
Join April and Danielle as they engage in conversation with Dr. Jason Pina about Good Sex. Jason is the Vice President for University Life and Global Engagement. He joined the NYU community in the midst of the COVID-19 Pandemic. In this episode, Dr. Pina shares stories about his first crush, talking to his children about sex, what good sex means to him, and insights into his more than 35 year relationship. The conversation might make you laugh, might make you feel less alone, and will hopefully make you think about how your own journey influences you today.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Episode 3: Interview with Chelsea Garbell, Associate Director for Global Spiritual Life
Release Date: 9/26/2022
Episode Description
Join April and Danielle as they engage in conversation with Global Spiritual Life Associate Director Chelsea Garbel about Good Sex. Chelsea received both of her degrees at NYU and has been working at NYU throughout most of her career. In her interview, we explore the 24-hour rule and talk sex and spirituality. The conversation might make you laugh, might make you feel less alone, and will hopefully make you think about how your own journey influences you today.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
Episode 4: Primary Prevention of Sexual and Relationship Harm
Release Date: 10/03/2022
Episode Description
Ever wonder, "What are the underlying root causes of harm and violence"? Join April and Danielle as they explore how oppression at every level can impact our daily lives, interactions and relationships. If we can be aware of oppressive ideologies, how they are replicated in our institutions and show up in our interpersonal relationships and in our internal lives then we can start to make real change in our communities. We also take a look at what risk factors and protective factors are and steps to be an upstander.
We talk about various types of harm and violence that can be experienced, including sexual assault and relationship violence. We know this conversation may be difficult for some. Take care of yourself, listen to your body, and turn off the episode, if needed.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
The Center for Anti-Violence Education–Upstander intervention training
Articles
Sex Education USA State Laws and Regulations (High Level Overview)
The SIECUS State Profiles 2019 / 2020 (Specifics by State)
Books
Sexual Citizens by Jennifer Hirsch and Shamus Khan 2020
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good by Adrienne Maree Brown
Videos/TV Shows
Episode 5: Interview with Aarna Dixit, Sophomore at NYU
Release Date: 10/10/2022
Episode Description
Join April and Danielle as they engage in conversation with NYU sophomore Aarna Dixit about Good Sex. Aarna is an activist, writer, speaker and podcast co-host of Dirty Talk. She is currently a double major in Global Liberal Studies and Social and Cultural Analysis. She writes for the Washington Square News and is part of the NYU Student Government Assembly. She gave a TedX Youth Talk on the importance of sexual violence allyships, was a 2020 HERLead Fellow and was featured in Teen Vogue 21 Under 21 List. For more information check out Aarna's website.
In this interview, we discuss the lack of pleasure in current sex ed curriculums, what sexual empowerment is, and several ways that power, priviledge, and oppression impact the ways womxn often engage in sex and relationships. The conversation might make you laugh, might make you feel less alone, and will hopefully make you think about how your own journey influences you today.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
SHC Sex Expert--Visit the SHC Portal to request an appointment
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Books
Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good by Adrienne Maree Brown
Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
Videos/TV Shows
The Sex Lives of College Girls (HBO Max)
Podcasts
Episode 6: Sexual Communication
Release Date: 10/17/2022
Episode Description
How can I communicate my desires and needs to my partners? Join April and Danielle as they explore the challenges of communicating in general and when it comes to talking about our wants, desires and boundaries related to pleasure. We explore communication styles, keys to healthy self-expression, blocks to listening, and how to productively navigate conflict.
At times we discuss the subject of when communication doesn't go well or with someone who doesn't listen to what we want and need. This can be activating for some folks. Take care of yourself, listen to your body, and turn off the episode, if needed.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
SHC Sex Expert--Visit the SHC Portal to request an appointment
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Relationship Maintenance Check-In - R.A.D.A.R.
Asexual Visibility and Education Network
Articles
How Do I Talk to My Partner About Sex? by Planned Parenthood
5 Ways to Create Better Sexual Communication with Your Partner by Gigi Engle
Let’s Talk About Sex: 4 Things to Improve Sex Communication by myTherapyNYC
Communication Tools: Using “I- Statements" When Making Requests in Relationships by Dr. Tatiana Astray
“I” Message by Good Therapy
Intent Versus Impact: A Formula for Better Communication by Shonna Waters, PhD
Books
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good by Adrienne Maree Brown
The Ethical Slut by Janet W. Hardy
Videos/TV Shows
Are you Passive, Assertive or Aggressive?
Rosa Lee Timm: Intent v. Impact
Defining Your Intent vs Impact
Principles of Pleasure (Netflix)
Podcasts
Where Should We Begin with Esther Perel
Episode 7: Interview with Suzy Jane Hunt, Steinhardt Educational Theatre Professor
Release Date: 10/24/2022
Episode Description
Join April and Danielle as they engage in conversation with actress and Steinhardt Professor Suzy Jane Hunt about Good Sex. Suzy acted in Broadway productions like Dear Evan Hansen, Twelfth Night, and How I learned to Drive. She writes and stars in the show If you Ask Her a one-person show that seeks to create open discussion on topics ranging from sex education and "first times" to sexual assault and rape culture.
In her interview, we discuss the value of asking someone what they think about their own boundaries and how she got to this point in her sexual and relationship journey. The conversation might make you laugh, might make you feel less alone, and will hopefully make you think about how your own journey influences you today.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Videos/TV Shows
When You Ask Her - About the Show
Social Media
@swoozyjane on Instagram
@pussplay_ifyouaskher on Instagram
@ifyouaskher on TikTok
Episode 8: STIs
Release Date: 10/31/2022
Episode Description
Have you ever wondered what the difference is between an STD and an STI? Or what causes an STI, which STIs are curable, or when you should be tested for STIs? Did you know the most common symptom of an STI is no symptoms at all? Join April and Danielle as they explore these questions and more!
Most of us learned about STIs in school as a scare tactic for why we should not have sex. But actually, STIs are quite common, especially among people aged 15 to 24. So, we need to talk about them in a thoughtful, non-frightening way to avoid spreading stigma.
Yes, being sexual comes with risk but it also can provide physical, emotional, and spiritual benefits. That’s why we want you to have unbiased, factual information to help you decide which risks you are willing to take and which you are not, presently and in the future.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
Make An Appointment at the SHC
How to Use a Condom or Dental Dam & Where to Find Safer Sex Supplies at NYU
Off Campus
Confidential STI Clinics in NYC
Planned Parenthood: Margaret Sanger Center
American Sexual Health Association
Centers for Disease Control & Prevention
Articles
What Gay & Bisexual Men Need to Know About Monkeypox
6 Ways We Can Reduce Risk in the Time of Monkeypox
Safer Sex, Social Gatherings, and Monkeypox
FDA Authorizes Underwear to Protect Against STIs During Oral Sex
A Guide To Non Latex Condoms, Latex Sensitivities & Condom Choices
Videos/TV Shows
Episode 9: Interview with Ra Ra Rollins, Student Advocacy Specialist at NYU Tandon School of Engineering
Release Date: 11/7/2022
Episode Description
Join April & Danielle as they engage in conversation with Ra Ra Rollins. Ra Ra is a Student Advocacy Specialist in the Office of Student Affairs at Tandon. He is also a graduate of Steinhardt with a Master's Degree in Counseling for Mental Health and Wellness. As a mental health clinician, Ra Ra prioritizes BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ clients and celebrates those with intersectional identities.
In this interview, we discuss first crushes, the struggle to obtain factual information when sex and sexuality are not discussed at home or in school, and the importance of finding a medical and mental health provider that you trust. The conversation might make you laugh, might make you feel less alone, and will hopefully make you think about how your own journey influences you today.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Books
The Ethical Slut by Janet W. Hardy
Episode 10: Boundaries
Release Date: 11/14/2022
Episode Description
Ever wonder how to set and implement a boundary? It can be complicated and hard to say no to people we like, want to like us or fear will leave if we don't meet all their desires. Join April and Danielle as they discuss the challenges of understanding our own boundaries. We explore different types of boundaries, setting and implementing them and the barriers that get in our way of following through with them.
At times we discuss the subject of when boundaries don't go well or with someone who doesn't listen our boundaries. This can be activating for some folks. Take care of yourself, listen to your body, and turn off the episode, if needed.
If you or someone you know has experienced a sexual assault or relationship violence, we encourage you to reach out for help.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
SHC Sexpert--Visit the SHC Portal to request an appointment
Navigating Healthy Dating Relationships Workshop
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Relationship maintenance check-in - R.A.D.A.R.
Asexual Visibility and Education Network
Articles
How to Deal with People Who Repeatedly Violate Your Boundaries by Sharon Martin, LCSW
How to Set Boundaries in Your Relationship by Chantelle Pattemore
Love is Respect: How to Set Boundaries
Books
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good by Adrienne Maree Brown
Ethical Slut by Janet W. Hardy
Videos/TV Shows
Good Boundaries Free You TEDx Talk by Sarri Gilman
Principles of Pleasure (Netflix)
Podcasts
Episode 11: Interview with Gisele Martin, Junior at NYU
Release Date: 11/21/2022
Episode Description
Join April and Danielle as they engage in conversation with Junior Gisele Martin about Good Sex. Gisele is a student at the College of Art and Science studying art history as their major and digital design as a minor. Gisele is part of the Student Government Assembly as the Senator-at-Large for Underprivileged Gender Expansive students.
In this interview, Gisele shares about their experience in a polyamorous relationship, how their views of sex have changed over time, and how the current political climate in the US has influenced the way they engage with government, legal, and medical systems as a transmasc individual. The conversation might make you laugh, might make you feel less alone, and will hopefully make you think about how your own journey influences you today.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Sex Therapist: Jennifer Aull
Episode 12: Healthy Relationships
Release Date: 11/28/2022
Episode Description
Most people want healthy relationships but have you considered what makes one healthy? How about unhealthy or abusive? Most of us learn about relationships from our family, friends, and the media we consume, but we don't have classes about what the term healthy really means and how to implement our #relationshipgoals. Join April and Danielle as they explore the relationship spectrum, the cycles of abuse, and how to support a friend in an abusive situation.
At times, the discussion of relationships turns to unhealthy and abusive characteristics, and this can be activating for some. Please take care of yourself, listen to your body and turn off the episode, if needed.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Relationship maintenance check-in - R.A.D.A.R.
Asexual Visibility and Education Network
Articles
Do Relationships Really Take Work?
Books
Ethical Slut by Janet W. Hardy
Videos/TV Shows
Episode 13: Interview with Dr. Melissa Maldanado-Salcedo, NYU Professor
Release Date: 12/5/2022
Episode Description
Join April and Danielle as they engage in conversation with Dr. Mel Maldonado-Salcedo, professor at NYU's College of Arts and Science and Tandon School of Engineering. Dr. Maldonado-Salcedo is a medical anthropologist, experimental ethnographer and artist.
In this interview, Dr. Maldonado-Salcedo shares about her experience as a professor at her undergrad and graduate school alma mater, how her rebellion against her mom inspired her research, her journey in a long-term relationship, how the pandemic impacted her physical and mental health, and how she fills in the gaps of information for her students. The conversation might make you laugh, might make you feel less alone, and will hopefully make you think about how your own journey influences you today. Find out more about Dr. Maldonado-Salcedo's work on her website.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Episode 14: Masturbation
Release Date: 12/12/2022
Episode Description
One of the more taboo topics (especially for anyone who isn’t a cisgender man), Danielle and April demystify discussions of masturbation. Join them, as they uncover some of the roots of the shame connected to masturbation, dismantle gender normative assumptions about it, discuss the scientifically proven benefits of it, and share their personal anecdotes about discovering what brought their bodies pleasure growing up. The fact is, many people of all different backgrounds and identities masturbate. So, instead of hiding a natural inclination for personal pleasure, let’s work together to speak frankly and with sex-positive language.
At times, the discussion turns to the challenges of masturbating including how sexual and relationship harm, as well as how we feel about our bodies and our genitals, can impact our ability to engage our bodies, and these topics can be activating for some. Please take care of yourself, listen to your body and turn off the episode, if needed.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
SHC Sexpert--Visit the SHC Portal to request an appointment
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Asexual Visibility and Education Network
Articles
23 Best Toys for Trans Women, according to a Trans Women by Ana Valens
Let's Talk About Sex (for Trans Men)
7 Places to Watch Feminist Porn by Carolyn Steber
Here is Why Ethical Porn Is the Best Porn You Can Watch by Gigi Engle
Clitoris: Anatomy, Location, Purpose & Conditions
When You Want to Understand Your Body Try Masturbation as Therapy
Preparing Your Bum for Anal Sex with Proper Douching
Books
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good by Adrienne Maree Brown
Videos/TV Shows
Pleasure and Masturbation--In Bed with a Millennial
How to Start Masturbating--In Bed with a Millennial
Principles of Pleasure (Netflix)
The Goop Lab with Gwyneth Paltrow (Netflix) - Season 1 Episode 3 "The Pleasure Is Ours"
Podcasts
Sex with Emily:
- Masturbation Pro Tips (Part 1)
- Masturbation Pro Tips (Part 2)
- How to Talk to Teens About Sex
Episode 15: Interview Nicole Shiao, Senior at NYU
Release Date: 12/19/2022
Episode Description
Join April and Danielle as they engage in conversation with Senior Nicole Shiao about Good Sex. Nicole is a student at the College of Art and Science studying anthropology and minoring in chemistry and global public health. Nicole is the president of Asian Fusion Dance club on campus and is the historian. They are also an active member of Delta Epsilon Mu, Alpha Tau Chapter, a pre-health professional co-ed fraternity on campus.
In this interview, Nicole shares their experience working at the NYU Empower Lab which focuses on conducting public health research and advocacy work related to sexual and gender based violence. They also talk about the impact of not talking about sex while growing up and how they have become more open to engaging in these conversations with friends and partners more recently. The conversation might make you laugh, might make you feel less alone, and will hopefully make you think about how your own journey influences you today.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Episode 16: Interview with Courtney Patterson, Reference Associate at Dibner Library at NYU Tandon School of Engineering
Release Date: 1/23/2023
Episode Description
Join April and Danielle as they engage in conversation with Courtney Patterson, Reference Associate at Dibner Library at Tandon School of Engineering. Courtney has a dual degree from Howard University in journalism and public relations, with a minor in theater arts. Courtney was formerly a library assistant at Columbia University, and began working at Dibner in February 2020. Courtney worked at Planned Parenthood and this experience sparked an interest for her in these conversations about sex and highlighted the many obstacles people have to go through to obtain reproductive healthcare.
In the interview, Courtney talks about a number of myths and norms that she has encountered and how they have impacted her journey. During the discussion, Courtney shares her passion finding her own way of doing things and how being an aerialist keeps her grounded. The conversation might make you laugh, might make you feel less alone, and will hopefully make you think about how your own journey influences you today.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Podcasts
SINGLENESS = FULLNESS, WHOLENESS AND BEING OPEN TO POSSIBILITIES, WITH SHANI SILVER (For the Love Podcast)
Episode 17: Mental Health and Sexual Pleasure
Release Date: 1/30/2023
Episode Description
Mood, stress, anxiety, and countless other barriers prevent us from being in the frame of mind to experience pleasure. Our brain is our largest sex organ; parts of it light up when we experience pleasure. If we want to engage in pleasure, we have to tune into our bodies and minds. Join April and Danielle as they explore how our mental health and pleasure are intimately connected.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
SHC Sexpert--Visit the SHC Portal to request an appointment
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
National Alliance on Mental Illness
Sexual Health Includes Pleasure (formerly Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health)
Kink, Poly, Trans & LGBQ Affirmative Providers
Asexual Visibility and Education Network
Articles
“OMG, Yes!” Feasibility, Acceptability and Preliminary Efficacy of an Online intervention for Female Sexual Pleasure. Devon J. Hansel, Christiana D. Von Hippel, Rebecca Sandidge, Charles C. Lapage, Nicole S. Zelin and Robert H. Perkins (2021)
Books
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
Episode 18: Interview Reese Villela, Sophomore at NYU
Release Date: 2/6/2023
Episode Description
Join April and Danielle as they converse with Sophomore Reese Villella about Good Sex. Reese (she/her) is majoring in Film Theory/Business at Gallatin with a minor in the Business of Entertainment, Media, and Technology. She is the Co-Marketing Manager for Planned Parenthood Generation Action at NYU and the Pledge Education Secretary and Marketing Manager for Delta Kappa Alpha, NYU’s gender-inclusive cinematic fraternity. Reese recently published a poetry collection titled, "Piles of Cherry Pits," which is now available on Amazon.
In this interview, Reese shares her experience at an all girls boarding school, how her parents' divorce influenced her younger self when thinking about romantic relationships, and explains why she feels we should all be thinking more about menstrual justice. The conversation might make you laugh, might make you feel less alone, and will hopefully make you think about how your own journey influences you today.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Episode 19: BDSM
Release Date: 2/13/2023
Episode Description
Have you ever wanted to try out a kink or fetish, or engage in BDSM? BDSM, or Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism, is often sensationalized in the media, or portrayed without crucial information. Engaging in healthy BDSM experiences requires consent, contracting, communication, and trust with the inclusion of respect for all parties involved. Join April and Danielle as they explore what healthy BDSM play looks like.
During the discussion, April and Danielle unpack the ways in which BDSM is different from abusive relationships and this can be activating for some. Please take care of yourself, listen to your body and turn off the episode, if needed.
If you or someone you know has experienced a sexual assault or relationship violence, we encourage you to reach out for support.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
SHC Sexpert--Visit the SHC Portal to request an appointment
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Relationship maintenance check-in - R.A.D.A.R.
Articles
BDSM Rituals and Why You Need Them by Dom Sub Living
BDSM Guides: Types of BDSM and Practice Tips by Emily Morse
A Hookup App for the Emotionally Mature
What is BDSM? An expert guide to BDSM sex for beginners
The Best Fetish Dating Sites of 2021
9 Sensation Play Products You Should Try, According to Sex Educators
Kynklopedia - Encyclopedia of Kink & BDSM
Growing Up Kinky: Research Shows How Kink Identity Is Formed
Books
Leatherfolk Book Club Recommendations
Playing with Others by Lee Harringotn and Mollena Williams
Videos/TV Shows
Episode 20: Interview with Michael John Carley, Accessibility Specialist at NYU Moses Center
Release Date: 2/20/2023
Episode Description
April and Danielle are joined by author and consultant, Michael John Carley. Michael John has been a steadfast presence in the autism spectrum world since being diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome at the same time as his 4-year old son in 2000. He joined the NYU community in Fall 2020 as a Consultant for Disability Inclusive Culture at OGI (Office of Global Inclusion). Once the university started to return to in person work, he opted to switch departments over moving back to NYC from Boston so that his son could be a high school soccer star! Michael John is now an Accessibility Specialist at the Moses Center, a role that includes facilitating the Connections Program. In 2021, he published a book called, "The Book of Happy, Positive, and Confident Sex for Adults on the Autism Spectrum...and Beyond!"
In this conversation, Michael John shares about how sex has often been an easy way for him to connect with folks throughout his life. He also explores how sex education could be modified to be more accessible for folks on the spectrum and asks for April and Danielle to share their thoughts on this idea. This portion of the conversation does involve references to sexual assault and this can be activating to some. Please take care of yourself, listen to your body and turn off the episode, if needed.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
212-998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Books
Episode 21: Saying "No" & Taking "No"
Release Date: 2/27/2023
Episode Description
Have you ever struggled to say “no” to a partner or a friend for fear of making them feel rejected? Conversely, have you ever felt rejected when someone said “no” to you? In either scenario, you are not alone! Saying “no” and accepting “no” are both difficult. However, our ability to do both of these things is essential for us to maintain healthy relationships, sexual or otherwise.
In this episode, April and Danielle explore ways to advocate for one’s self and learn to accept when others advocate for themselves. In other words, how to give and receive the word, “no.” They even do a little role playing! As you listen to this week’s quickie, consider how April and Danielle emphasize the importance of creating a balance between establishing and implementing boundaries while honoring the needs of others.
April and Danielle also discuss the way a history of trauma - of someone experiencing a violation of their “no” - can lead to difficulties saying “no” in the present. If you think you may feel triggered by this conversation, please take care of yourself, listen to your body, and turn off the episode if needed.
If you or someone you know has experienced a sexual assault or relationship violence, we encourage you to reach out for support.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
(212) 998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Articles
How and When to Say No by Margarita Tartakovsky
Episode 22: Interview with Ronnie Huett, NYU Graduate Student
Release Date: 3/6/2023
Episode Description
April and Danielle are joined by author, father, and MFA candidate in Creative Writing at GSAS, Ronnie Huett. Ronnie identifies as a non-traditional student in that he went back for his bachelor's degree at a later stage in life and started at a community college. He transferred to Columbia University to complete his undergraduate degree and worked as a teacher before entering the NYU MFA program.
During the podcast, Ronnie quotes from poet Harold Norse and shares about the time he found his dad’s Playboy magazines. He opens up about how heteronormativity has impacted his identity and how his race and gender have influenced his dating life and relationship. Additionally, the discussion explores the challenges of finding a condom that fits and how to navigate using them. Check out Ronnie’s article called Cosmic Latte, and keep an eye out for more of his writing to come.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services
212-998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Articles
Episode 23: Birth Control
Release Date: 3/20/2023
Episode Description
Access to birth control is an essential aspect of safe, consensual sexual activity and health. We at Good Sex @ NYU want to ensure that everyone has equitable access and accurate information regarding birth control that allows all to engage with their sexuality in an empowered and safe way.
In this episode, Danielle and April discuss the many different birth control methods available and what accessing birth control looks like, at NYU and beyond. They also discuss how birth control can be utilized for reasons other than pregnancy prevention, like decreasing heavy and painful menstruation or eliminating menstruation completely, and clearing up acne. We hope you find this episode informative! Check out more resources on our page linked below (there are a lot of great ones this week). NYU students, we encourage you to make an appointment with a medical provider at the Student Health Center to discuss any questions this episode brings up for you.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
SHC Sexpert--Visit the SHC Portal to request an appointment
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services - (212) 998-4780
How to Use a Condom or Dental Dam & Where to Find Safer Sex Supplies @ NYU
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Reproductive Health Access Project
Association of Fertility Awareness Professionals
Articles
A Guide To Non Latex Condoms, Latex Sensitivities & Condom Choices
Bedsider Birth Control Comparison Chart
Birth Control Across the Gender Spectrum
Guttmacher Institute - Contraceptive Use in the United States by Method
Reproductive Oppression Against Black Women
Videos/TV Shows
Planned Parenthood: How does Emergency Contraception Work
Planned Parenthood: How does the Birth Control Pill Work
Planned Parenthood Youtube Channel for more resources and informational videos
Podcasts
How to Choose the Best Form of Birth Control for You
Life Kit -- Your Guide to Navigating Birth Control
Episode 24: Interview with Lauren Whitehead, NYU Professor
Release Date: 3/27/2023
Episode Description
April and Danielle are joined by Professor Lauren Whitehead, a writer, performer, dramaturg, and an Assistant Arts Professor of Dramaturgy at NYU Tisch School of the Arts. Professor Whitehead has taught creative writing workshops all around the country for the past 15 years. Prior to joining the faculty at NYU, she was a part-time lecturer at the New School for Drama and was a Teaching Fellow in the Undergraduate Writing Program at Columbia University.
During the podcast, Professor Whitehead shares how she learned about healthy boundaries from her parents while growing up and how she is continually still learning about them as an adult. She learned how to trust her feelings and express them in her family. Additionally, Professor Whitehead discloses that she experienced sexual harm and discusses how she processed this trauma by going to therapy and talking about it with friends. In the conversation, she shares the great advice she gives to herself: “I never talk bad about my body while my body is in the room.” Check out Lauren’s work on her website.
Since there is discussion of sexual harm in this episode, please look out for your emotional and mental wellbeing. Pause the podcast or refrain from listening at all if you feel overwhelmed by this topic.
If you or someone you know has experienced a sexual assault or relationship violence, we encourage you to reach out for support.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services - 212-998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Episode 25: Relationship Orientation/Models
Release Date: 4/3/2023
Episode Description
When thinking about the “ideal relationship,” many assume that monogamy is the best and even only choice. In reality, there are an abundance of dating models to choose from! Instead of feeling pressure to conform to one idea of a healthy relationship, consider that our lives change just as our relationships do. And change isn’t a bad thing! It gives us the opportunity to be a part of an ongoing conversation about our needs with ourselves and our partners.
Join April and Danielle as they explore monogamy, different forms of non-monogamy, and being single. Danielle even shares a personal example of how she navigated shifting into a new relationship model and the difficulties that arose during that transition. Throughout the conversation we hope you feel empowered to check in with yourself and ponder what might make you most happy in a relationship and when you’re single.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services - (212) 998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Articles
Decolonial Love: A How-To Guide by Gwendolywn (Mitikomis) Benaway
5 More Ways to Radically Exist in Decolonial Love by Philippe Leonard Fradet
Say Yes to Decolonial Love: 5 Ways to Resist Oppression in Your Relationships by Anni Liu
Books
Episode 26: Interview with Cornelia Holzbauer, NYU Graduate Student
Release Date: 4/10/2023
Episode Description
April and Danielle are joined by Cornelia Elise Holzbauer, a graduate student at NYU's Arthur L. Carter Journalism school who is set to graduate in May 2023. Cornelia moved to New York in October 2017 after completing her Bachelor's in Publishing and Media Communication from the University of Vienna. As a journalist, she has covered women's health, female pleasure, and women's reproductive rights, as well as service pieces on sexting techniques. Cornelia wants to dedicate her life to reporting for and about women. Sexuality, intimacy, and sexual health are topics she frequently discusses with friends and family. She likes to call herself the consent police and encourages folks not to mince words when asking for what they do and don’t want.
In this conversation, Cornelia discusses how she is a huge proponent of open communication. When it comes to consent and healthy relationships, she believes in having preemptive conversations. In her experience, Cornelia has found communication about sex and sexuality empowering, especially when centered around topics like aftercare, consent, and healthy relationships. She also talks about orgasms and pleasure, specifically the value of female pleasure and sexual empowerment and how her identity as a bisexual woman has informed her thoughts about these two important subjects. Find Cornelia on LinkedIn or on Instagram @cornelia_elise.
Cornelia mentions being a survivor and about a few sexual encounters that did not go exactly as she would have liked. This may be activating for some. Be sure to listen to your body and take care of yourself!
If you or someone you know has experienced a sexual assault or relationship violence, we encourage you to reach out for support.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services - 212-998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Episode 27: NYU OEO & Title IX
Release Date: 4/17/2023
Episode Description
Join April and Danielle as they speak to the NYU Office of Equal Opportunity (OEO)/Title IX team about what they do, what affirmative consent is, and what services are available to students. The NYU OEO/Title IX team assists and provides support to those who have experienced harm, also known as Complainants, and those who have been accused of causing harm, or Respondents. Among other things, they connect individuals with resources on and off campus, provide accommodations, and investigate formal complaints.
This episode may be activating for some listeners. We encourage you to take care of yourself. Consider taking a break from listening, turning off the podcast, or contacting a friend. If you or someone you know has experienced a form of sexual misconduct (such as sexual assault) or relationship violence, we encourage you to reach out for support.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services - (212) 998-4780
Title IX: NYU Policy & Procedures
Confidential vs Private Resources @ NYU
Sexual Misconduct, Relationship Violence and Stalking Resource Guide for Students
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Episode 28: Interview with Mathew Shepard, Associate Director at NYU Office of Student Conduct & Community Standards
Release Date: 4/24/2023
Episode Description
Today on the podcast April and Danielle welcome Mathew Shepard. He is an Associate Director in the Office of Student Conduct & Community Standards with a specific focus on restorative practices and the university’s response to allegations of discriminatory bias and harassment. He is also an instructor in the Cohort Leadership Program at Stern and a doctoral candidate in the Higher Education Administration program at Steinhardt.
During this interview, Mathew and Danielle connect about both growing up in Kansas and how this impacted their journeys. Mathew reflects on the value of communication and establishing boundaries when forming a healthy relationship. He also highlights the importance of finding relationships and people that fulfill you by using the metaphor of harmony, or someone who operates in the same octave as you. Mathew shares about his experience working at NYU and some of the challenges he has faced related to his identities.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services - 212-998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Books
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Episode 29: HIV, PrEP, and PEP
Release Date: 5/1/2023
Episode Description
Today on the podcast, April and Danielle are joined by the NYU Student
Health Center’s Sexpert, Alyssa LaFosse, to talk about HIV, or Human
Immunodeficiency Virus. The episode dives into the history of HIV, how
it is spread, what individuals can do to prevent contracting the virus,
the importance of getting tested for all STIs, and how to continue
having a healthy and safe sex life even if someone does receive a
positive HIV test result.
Not only does the discussion include
details about PrEP, or Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, which is taken before
someone is potentially exposed to the virus, but they also explore PEP,
or Post-Exposure Prophylaxis, which is taken after a known or possible
exposure to HIV. It wouldn’t be a quickie if April and Danielle didn’t
also engage in a discussion about oppressive ideas around HIV, stigma,
and the importance of unpacking these harmful beliefs.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
SHC Sexpert--Visit the SHC Portal to request an appointment
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services - (212) 998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Articles
Episode 30: Interview with Siena Chanel, NYU Steinhardt Student
Release Date: 5/8/2023
Episode Description
April and Danielle are joined by Siena Chanel Moran, an undergraduate student at Steinhardt majoring in Music Business. In addition to excelling as a student, Siena is an activist and an artist focusing on writing and producing her own music.
During the interview, Siena shared how she came up with the idea of the Sex Book, an online comprehensive sex education curriculum for students, and how it has transformed over time to be a free resource for all. April and Danielle connect with Siena, as she shares her experience with early masturbation and the myths associated with this for those with vulvas.
This episode may be activating for some. Be sure to listen to your body and take care of yourself!
If you or someone you know has experienced a sexual assault or relationship violence, we encourage you to reach out for support.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services - 212-998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Episode 31: Interview with Joyce Renzhong Tan, Director at NYU Center for Multicultural Education and Programs (CMEP)
Release Date: 6/12/2023
Episode Description
April and Danielle welcome Joyce Renzhong Tan, Director at the Center for Multicultural Education and Programs Office of Global Inclusion, Diversity and Strategic Innovation. Prior to her current role, Joyce spearheaded Diversity Initiatives at NYU Shanghai and founded a digital project called “unCoVer” which focused on promoting awareness and solidarity around the pandemic.
During this interview, Joyce shares how boundaries can be gendered and how this has impacted their journey, as well as how they learned about boundaries when others have violated them. To punctuate her thoughts on boundaries, she reads a quote by Kai Chen Thom from their book I Hope We Choose Love: A Trans Girls Notes from the end of the World: “Boundaries are not about 'yes' or 'no', they are not about the limitations or permission, or even this thing we call consent; they are the space between me and you, the borderland where fear ends and desire begins, they are the place where love can live without being lost.” April, Danielle, and Joyce explore desirability, negative norms, and the fact that we can experience and embrace pleasure from many acts – some of which don’t include our genitalia.
This episode may be activating for some. Be sure to listen to your body and take care of yourself!
If you or someone you know has experienced a sexual assault or relationship violence, we encourage you to reach out for support.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services - 212-998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Episode 32: Sex and Spirituality
Release Date: 7/10/2023
Episode Description
April and Danielle are joined by Bernadette Kerr (AKA Bernie), LCSW, who has been a counselor at NYU’s Counseling and Wellness Services since 2017. She offers one-on-one and group counseling, hosts workshops, and performs community outreach. Bernie co-leads the Racial Justice Team and is a member of the ADHD and Mindfulness teams.
In this episode, Bernie shares how she incorporates spirituality into her work. She acknowledges the link between spirituality and trauma in many communities and discusses how spiritual practices have helped some manage and move through suicidal ideation. Bernie uses the 4 I's of oppression to unpack spiritual beliefs that come from faith leaders, family, and community members versus what a religious text actually says. She beautifully describes building her own way of understanding her faith and integrating it into her daily life. Additionally, she discusses the idea of forgiveness and what it means to her. She explains it is, “...an acceptance of what happened to you, without making a commitment to anyone but you.” Finally, we explore the harms that have been done in the name of religion and how to reconstruct our faith and religion to live it out authentically.
This episode may be activating for some. Be sure to listen to your body and take care of yourself!
If you or someone you know has experienced a sexual assault or relationship violence, we encourage you to reach out for support.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services - 212-998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Books
Rethinking Sexuality - Dr. Juli Slattery
Gay Girl, Good God - Jackie Hill Perry
This Here Flesh - Cole Arthur Riley
Social Media
Podcasts
Java with Juli - Dr. Juli Slattery
Episode 33: Interview with Sneha Sridhar, NYU Sophomore
Release Date: 8/14/2023
Episode Description
Today on the podcast, April and Danielle are joined by Sneha Sridhar, a sophomore Global Liberal Studies major and currently the Liberal Studies Student Council President. Sneha shares formative childhood anecdotes including the story of how a game of spin the bottle facilitated her first kiss and how her family helped her learn about boundaries and communication. She acknowledges that every interpersonal relationship, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, can create a learning opportunity for setting and receiving boundaries. April, Danielle, and Sneha uncover a number of oppressive messages that impact our sexual lives and relationships, including the myths around the rules of dating, when to talk about sex, and how old TV shows and movies continue to foster these harmful ideas.
This episode may be activating for some. Be sure to listen to your body and take care of yourself!
If you or someone you know has experienced a sexual assault or relationship violence, we encourage you to reach out for support.
Resources From This Episode
On Campus
Wellness Exchange
Call the 24/7 hotline at (212) 443-9999 or chat via the app (iPhone | Android)
Sexual and Relationship Respect Services - 212-998-4780
Off Campus
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Listen Wherever You Get Your Podcasts
Meet Your Hosts
Danielle Elleman
Danielle is the Associate Director of Sexual and Relationship Respect Services at NYU. She has 15 years of experience working with those who experience sexual and relationships violence. She was in the Peace Corps but was evacuated from Uzbekistan and ended up getting reassigned to Romania. She plays volleyball weekly and has been known to do standup comedy.
April Fellers
April is a nurse at the Student Health Center. She has over 10 years of nursing experience working in emergency departments, as a sexual assault nurse, and now in college health. Her passion is educating and empowering people in the areas of health promotion and disease prevention. In the last several years this passion has shifted specifically to sexual health education. She loves to bake and spend time outside with her cute chihuahua, Shuri.
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