Episode 135: Dr. Adam Hill, Pediatric Palliative Care

Adam B. Hill, M.D., is the division chief of pediatric palliative care at Riley Hospital for Children. Dr. Hill is a graduate of Butler University for his undergraduate work and Indiana University School of Medicine (IUSOM). He completed his pediatric residency training at St. Louis University, a fellowship in pediatric hematology/oncology at Duke University and a palliative medicine fellowship at Indiana University. His work in palliative care is focused on allowing patients to live the best quality of life possible, in the midst of chronic, life-limiting and/or life-threatening medical conditions. In addition, he works with colleagues on debriefing clinical work to decrease caregiver distress by finding meaning and purpose in the work and is the founder/director of Compassion Rounds at Riley Hospital for Children, a town hall humanities-based forum to process human emotions in healthcare.

 

Dr. Hill has a passion for international medical work, with opportunities to work in Kenya, Belize, Mexico, and Tanzania over the past decade. Dr. Hill also serves as the medical director for Camp Little Red Door, a week-long, full-immersion summer camp for children/siblings living with cancer.

 

Finally, Dr. Hill is passionate about physician wellness and self-care in the context of changing the culture of medicine surrounding mental health conditions and addiction. In 2017, Dr. Hill published a groundbreaking New England Journal of Medicine article titled “Breaking the Stigma: A Physician’s Perspective on Self- Care and Recovery”. In this article and his lectures, Dr. Hill shares his own story of personal recovery from depression and substance use. As a result, Dr. Hill has become a national and internationally recognized lecturer on the topic, including a book publication with Central Recovery Press entitled Long Walk Out of the Woods: A Physician’s Story of Addiction, Depression, Hope and Recovery, which was released December of 2019.

Intro Voices  00:04

Where do I go? It only happened was I was singled out. The phone calls began about one month ago. What is hazing? Something happened to me when I was out? I'm worried about my safety. He said he was sorry, can someone help me? Where can I get help? Can someone help me?

 

Karen Ortman  00:30

This is you matter, a podcast for the NYU community developed by the Department of campus safety. Hi, everyone, and welcome back to you matter, a podcast created to teach, inspire and motivate members of the NYU community who have been victimized in some form or fashion, and to identify resources both on and off campus that can help. I am your host Karen Ortman, Associate Vice President of campus safety operations at the Department of campus safety, and a retired law enforcement professional. Today I welcome Dr. Adam Hill, a pediatric palliative care physician, author and recovering alcoholic, Dr. Hill openly shares his story of depression, suicidal thoughts and alcoholism. While working in the field of medicine. He wrote long walk out of the woods, in which he shares his story, and lifts the veil of secrecy regarding caregiver mental health. Dr. Hill, welcome to you matter.

 

Adam Hill  01:33

Yeah, thank you so much for having me. Great to be here.

 

Karen Ortman  01:36

My pleasure entirely. I'm really looking forward to our conversation. So thank you, once again, for joining me. Why don't we start by talking about your childhood? Is being a physician, something that you always wanted to do as a small child? No, I don't think so.

 

Adam Hill  01:55

Necessarily. I grew up in a family of the taught the importance of civic service and giving back and working with the youth of our community. So I saw myself in that line of being able to work in some capacity with either children or adults, whether it was in education, or let's just prime primarily focus on my family, or, you know, in the field, like my father, which was, you know, social work in mental health counseling, and eventually evolved more into an ideology of working in medicine, but I think that came a little bit later.

 

Karen Ortman  02:41

Your father was a social worker. That's right. Okay. How did his profession impact you? Growing up?

 

Adam Hill  02:51

Yeah, you know, I, first and foremost, I mean, I had a really loving family and childhood and raised in a small Indiana town of cornfields and columbines. You know, but I did see that experience of my father both tangibly in late night hallway conversations before he was called into the emergency department or, you know, out on a soccer field or a T ball field where a patient of his may run up and greet him and have this sidebar conversation. And I witnessed the way my father tried to balance being a father and the salience of that clinical work that he was doing.

 

Karen Ortman  03:38

Yeah, I kind of liken it to the experience that children have those in law enforcement experience. Well, I was running the Special Victims Unit, which handled you know, sex crimes and child abuse investigations. And similar to your father was often having conversations during dinner time pulled out of a movie theater, you know, at my son's wrestling matches, or football games or my daughter's, you know, events. And so they were forced to listen to this circumstances of children's or adults lives that many of their peers certainly weren't exposed to, and I'm sure it impacted them as well. So your father spent his life helping others and carrying the weight of others mental health stories. How did that impact him and him and your mother? Because of the weight of that it sure is surely something that you can sort of dispose of at the end of the day.

 

Adam Hill  04:51

You know, the beauty now of being in sobriety and recovery, is being able and working in medicine Mesaba Being able to talk about that, in my father, it wasn't something that we really openly discussed or acknowledged, I think, for the first 2530 years of my life. And so it's been a really neat unveiling now to, you know, be in recovery together as a family, but also talk about that and talk about our experiences and how they informed and impacted our lives. And there's so many parallels now. So I love that, you know, we, my father, often said, jokingly, in our childhood, and it was a joke, but he, sometimes it say, in the evening, you know, I get paid to listen to other people all day long and their struggles, so I don't have to listen to you. And he meant it in the kindest way, like when, you know, acting out as a brother and sister. And I think I can now acknowledge that there's a gravity to that, and a balance that you have to strike working in this kind of work, not getting into a comparison model of different levels of, of tragedy and, and how you have to go home and, and separate that. And that's one of the lessons he was probably conveying through that.

 

Karen Ortman  06:23

In your book that you wrote, that I spoke of, in the intro long walk out of the woods very impactful. You spoke of the anxiety that you had in high school and how it grew. Even though you were an accomplished student athlete, you still were managing anxiety and turn to alcohol at that point. What was your introduction to alcohol?

 

Adam Hill  06:53

Yeah, I mean, I think you hit it on the head that I was a high achieving perfectionist who channeled that anxiety into over performing, and continued to do that, and at times now continues to be part of my recovery story. You know, the introduction wasn't really glorious or profound. It was a friend and I in our backyard, you know, having a beer at age 14, and it wasn't this like white light moment, or epiphany, or anything else. But eventually, over several years, I think it turned into a social lubrication and an ability to fit in and in social settings in crowds that that was more fun or more likeable, or just it would ease that tension. I felt of awkwardness.

 

Karen Ortman  07:45

At what point did alcohol become problematic for you? Was it beyond high school, into medical school? Or was it once you got into the profession?

 

Adam Hill  08:00

Well, everything is clear. In hindsight, you know, I never had a healthy relationship with alcohol, even stemming from my, my late teens. I mean, I was a binge drinker and would often drink to excess, and I didn't have significant consequences, then, because I drank pretty infrequently, you know, high achieving perfectionist to care deeply about school and grades in this singular path of medical school. I stayed pretty focused on that. But I think in hindsight, can acknowledge that, you know, it was it was a problem and never a healthy relationship since my late teens, but the, you know, the real turn and the reliance on alcohol as a daily coping mechanism was really in my late 20s and early 30s, sort of when I finished the residency part of my medical training and went to fellowship training. That was this turn, that really happened when it became this physical dependence and also this emotional daily dependence to, to numb myself from the intensity of all this just being an empath and undescribable feelings that I was going through. So before

 

Karen Ortman  09:17

we get to your fellowship, after residency, you apply to medical school. You had difficulty getting into medical school, or perceived difficulty by you. I mean, you were waitlisted and ultimately got in. So that's a success story probably by most people's standards.

 

Adam Hill  09:39

That's right. That's right. And and yet for me, it left me in this feeling of limbo and then I internalized as inadequacy and self doubt and then I didn't long and a lot of self deprecation language that really existed in my you know, in my My daily monologue for four years. Yeah.

 

Karen Ortman  10:03

But is this when your depression began? Would you say? Or is it following this?

 

Adam Hill  10:12

No, it was really in the, in the middle of medical school. The Depression began and, and really, you know, I had several episodes of major depressive disorder throughout medical school, and then early residency and fellowship. But, um, but yeah, it was a few years after that.

 

Karen Ortman  10:37

Would you say that depression is common amongst medical students, based on your observations and experience?

 

Adam Hill  10:47

Yeah, I mean, one based on my own observation experience, I mean, I mentor and meet with a lot of individuals young in their career, who were, you know, facing mental health diagnoses and working through this. But it's also, you know, really well, evidenced in the literature, the significant term that actually happens in the environmental factors of being in medical school, you take some individuals with the lowest rates of depression and anxiety, pre medical school, and then they escalate to, you know, two to three times the general population within the first few years. And so it is, you know, a significant prevalence. And something Fortunately, we're talking more and more about now, the last five, seven years, but it's always been there.

 

Karen Ortman  11:39

In light of that, what resources are made available to medical students who might be experiencing depression or some other you know, mental health, consequence of the stresses of being in medical school?

 

Adam Hill  11:59

You know, fortunately, we've come a long way in the last 30 years, and then even more, I think, in the last five or 10, that the truth is, it's very individualized for each campus, each university and how much they invest in counseling resources, and normalization and stigmatization policies and procedures and advocacy. So I see the full gamut across the country of of places that I think do it really well and others where there's significant opportunity. But you know, it really starts if you're somebody who's struggling, even if you have all the resources and biggest shiniest building in the world, if you don't break down the stigmatizing barriers and normalize reaching out for care, then people just don't seek it. And, and that's where a lot of my advocacy and storytelling and hopefully just narrative sharing and empowering other people to share their stories comes as you know, let's have the conversation so that, that people will reach out when they need it. Yeah,

 

Karen Ortman  13:09

when you were experiencing depression in medical school, who helped you.

 

Adam Hill  13:16

So, you know, it really was initially my family, it was my parents, my sister. I did meet with a counselor on campus one or two times, and it was basically this screening process. But it was really kind of my individual family support system that connected me with some outside resources and started on in therapy and then even on an antidepressant meeting with at the time psychiatrist. And, and, you know, I don't as we have this national conversation about that I don't take this for granted that I have a significant privilege and having those family resources, having the financial resources having the connection to local community resources, and you know, it played a big part and my recovery and it's something that so many people don't have access to.

 

Karen Ortman  14:19

You speak of in your book, your darkest days, and they were following your residency. Can you describe what you were feeling at that time and how you were able to seek help?

 

Adam Hill  14:47

Yeah. It really came down to this point where I was completely hopeless until help was for me, the only reprieve from that was you know, having a drink or two or eventually, you know, a fifth of vodka, just a numbness, feelings of shame and guilt and these cycles of feeling, you know, worthless. I, you know, I don't really view it as this moment that I came to some sense of clarity or that I, you know, even recognized it, it was this moment of, of grace, and then my wife stepping in and helping me before I can help myself and loving before I've learned to love myself. And, and that was, you know, the beginning, recovery was acknowledging that this was way bigger than me, it was beyond my control, I had seen that I was helpless to this addiction and, and, and seek help and let other people drag me before I could walk on my own. Let's

 

Karen Ortman  16:07

associate a time frame to this to your story. You graduated from medical school, how long ago

 

Adam Hill  16:16

2007 is when I graduated medical school from Indiana University. And at

 

Karen Ortman  16:23

what point did you meet and marry your wife.

 

Adam Hill  16:28

So we I moved to St. Louis, from 2007 to 2010, for my res pediatric residency at St. Louis University, and met my wife actually, within weeks of moving to St. Louis. And so within within the first month, actually, of being there, we went on our first date and dated for the three years that I was there, and we got married about a month before we then moved to North Carolina, which is where I started my fellowship and, and the end of 2010.

 

Karen Ortman  17:03

And at this point, you were actively experiencing depression without seeking outside intervention or help. So your wife was there during this period of time, so

 

Adam Hill  17:21

throughout residency, I was I was on an antidepressant and actually did really well. And, and, and those were some of the best years of my life, not only from the personal side of meeting my wife and the excitement of that, but also just, you know, I was in a pretty good place, I was doing regular counseling on an antidepressant the trouble sort of began in that next transition. When we moved to North Carolina, I went off the antidepressant. And then just, you know, it was this slow spiral for about a year after that. And then the drinking sort of crept up and became more and more of probably the primary contributor to that. You know, once I was actually several years in, into sobriety, I mean, I haven't had, you know, a major depressive episode or for nine years. I mean, I, that's really not part of my ongoing story. So a lot of it actually related, I think back to the environment and the situation, but also the, the alcohol use. I mean, that was a big contributor to the depression.

 

Karen Ortman  18:45

For how long was alcohol part of your story? How many years?

 

Adam Hill  18:53

Well, I mean, if if you count sort of the first drank at age 14, I mean, I've been started sobriety when I was 31. had a relapse, about a year and a half into recovery. And so now I'm, you know, this February all celebrate nine years of continuous sobriety if God willing, and one day at a time. Yeah.

 

Karen Ortman  19:21

Congratulations. That's great. Thank you. So when you were in North Carolina, is that when you began working with pediatric palliative care patients?

 

Adam Hill  19:33

So at that time, I was working in pediatric oncology. And so for those three years in North Carolina, it was then the following year in 2014, that I really started practicing palliative medicine, palliative care, but it took me going through that experience in oncology I am so in recovery to realize that the space that I really wanted to work in medicine was helping families and patients navigate the most difficult times of their life, helping them make decisions to live the best quality life possible to help them navigate the complexity of living with illness. And, you know, it's, it's in parallel to recovery. I mean, what I get to authentically show up and do every day as a physician is what I hope to, and aspire to do every day as a man in recovery. And that, you know, as those have converged more and more over time, and there's a beauty and being able to live that authentically in both spaces that you know, is really fulfilling.

 

Karen Ortman  20:49

Yeah. Palliative care. What is palliative care?

 

Adam Hill  20:56

Yeah, so, palliative care. Palliative medicine is a subspecialty. Of, of medicine that really focuses on helping patients families live the best quality life possible, and either facing life limiting or life altering medical conditions to help them navigate and set what their goals of medical care are, and, and making sure that those either match within the medical system were helped to find families or ways to do that, it's sometimes about 20% of our job or so it was also helping the transition of end of life care and hospice care for, for patients and families. We do a lot of symptom management, pain management to ensure that people are living well and living their best life possible. And, you know, it's hopefully showing up along the way, and building that relationship with people so that you can help them navigate whether what sometimes may be a very acute traumatic illness or on the maybe lifelong and, and so, you know, we try to help do that in concert with the other medical teams in the system.

 

Karen Ortman  22:17

And you work with pediatrics, who are faced end of life decisions.

 

Adam Hill  22:27

That's right, we add it's an immense privilege to be able to step into those moments, you know, it's moments that carry a lot of weight and gravity, emotional salience to them. And also it's this immense honor to be invited into sacred spaces to help people navigate that and, you know, hopefully to live with dignity. And also with Amistad, and, you know, die with dignity.

 

Karen Ortman  23:01

I so appreciate what you're saying, and the work that you do. And I would venture to say that there's more people needed, like you then are probably out there assisting with these important decisions. And regarding your comment about being in this sacred space. It's such a beautiful thing that you're doing for these families and, and for these patients who are facing these really hard conversations. Really, God's work, you know,

 

Adam Hill  23:39

I appreciate that. And, you know, the beauty of this work is that we have an amazing team, that now each person carries their piece of it and contributes and it's, you know, chaplains and social workers and nurses and physicians, advanced practice nurses. I mean, it takes a whole team. It's amazing to be a part of that.

 

Karen Ortman  24:10

You speak in your book of a patient Zoey. And, and she had quite an impact on you. Can you share the story of Zoey? And is she the reason you pursued a special team? Pediatric Palliative medicine.

 

Adam Hill  24:36

And I appreciate you asking about her. As always, though, it was this young girl, two years old, eventually three that I took care of when I was a medical student who was going through a bone marrow transplant for a rare immunodeficiency and several months So, after I met her and had developed this really profound, you know, relationship of trust, and she died from complications of her bone marrow transplant, and I just, I fell in love with her her tenacity and her resilience, but also just her innate ability to be a kid and live through some things that I couldn't even fathom, you know, living the daily procedures and pain and suffering and yet to show up, and smile and, you know, show up for life, it was just incredibly inspiring and, and at the same time, deeply emotional to think about and process through the unfairness of it all, or how difficult this work may be to, you know, to go to a funeral of a of a child and contemplate all of that. And if you could continue to do this, and I have these moments are a reflection of my father, you know, him losing teenagers who died by suicide, or diet and substance active substance use disorder and how he processed that. But ultimately, yeah, I mean, it. It impacted how I wanted to show up in medicine with humanity first. And it initially led me to oncology, but but also to this to this work and palliative medicine. And, you know, I think about her and her family, often her mom and I still stay in touch. And yeah, and how the scare is a big piece of my heart.

 

Karen Ortman  26:52

Do children often ask you if they're going to die?

 

Adam Hill  27:01

This is a great question. And I have done so many podcasts over the last few years. And it's probably the first time somebody actually asked me that question. So it's, it's refreshing. Because the truth is that oftentimes, patients and even when they're young patients and children, they know and have a sense, before other people were talking about it. And I mean that both on the medical team side, but also their parents. And so it's, you know, there's this thing that we talked about often called double protection, but like parents are protecting their child from having the conversation and the child is also protecting their parents, as they don't see them, you know, suffer or cry. But they're both thinking, yeah. And part of the intimacy and privilege of our work is hopefully to be a conduit to open those conversations between the two, right? You know, I've had children as young as three or four years old, who actively talk in their own conceptualizations of mortality of, you know, I'm gonna go be with grandma soon, or, you know, talk about angels or their faith based conceptions of, of what it looks like. And so yeah, you know, even though we live in a western culture that's terrified of talking about mortality and death. Those conversations are there and, and, you know, and need to be had.

 

Karen Ortman  28:38

And what is your response when a child says they're gonna go be with their grandparents or an angel or somebody

 

Adam Hill  28:50

it's the same way we coach families is to ask open ended questions back. Because, you know, you you don't actually know what they may be thinking or asking. And it may be something completely different than your assumptions. Because a different development is people process things differently. So, you know, one, one child had asked, also young elementary school kid age, sort of what happens, you know, to their to their stuff after they die. And in the parents I think conditionally conceptualize this, like, oh, do they think we're gonna forget them or like that we're not going to remember have a space for their legacy or anything else? And really, the kid just wanted to if her younger sibling was gonna steal her toys, right? Yeah. And, and it opened up the this really beautiful conversation. So we often just, you know, tell me more about that or what do you think? What are your ideas and And then you'll find out more about what they're really thinking.

 

Karen Ortman  30:04

Do you ever find these experiences, whether it's the conversations or the loss of a child you're treating to be triggering for you?

 

Adam Hill  30:17

Yeah, that's a fair question. I mean, the truth is not at this point and time, you know, if you'd asked me that question in the first six months of recovery, or year, it may be a different answer. I've reached the point, you know, I'm not immune to relapse, I work a daily program, I'm heavily involved in a and helping others, I literally, you know, talk to met somebody in person this morning, in recovery. And so I mean, I have to work at it. But it's not a daily part of my thought process, or that, that I'm really triggered by that anymore. And it also has come with, you know, a decade of being able to reframe this work that, yes, these are incredibly tragic, sad, difficult, emotional moments, and it was not my fault. To that I have the opportunity, even in the midst of that to show up and hopefully make a difference, or to help somebody an honor and privilege that is, that helps me to go home and say, you know, I had some ability to make an impact. And, and that means it's incredibly meaningful to me.

 

Karen Ortman  31:42

How do you share with your colleagues? Your story, and how do you help each other? For

 

Adam Hill  31:51

me, a lot of times, it's, it's about attraction and not promotion, no to the tenant of recovery, it's, you know, I try to create safe spaces where people will be attracted to seeking help if they needed, but, you know, often liken it to if you're, if you're a leader in an institution, and you check in on somebody, for the first time, when you see that they're struggling, or there's a change in behavior or something that needs to be addressable from the individual who may be struggling, there's going to be an initial defensive reaction, why are they checking? Okay, now, I must be in trouble is this, right? But if you create environments where you're routinely doing that, or just even living vulnerably, are authentically yourself and have routine safe spaces available, then people will come to them when they need it. And so that's what I've tried to do, both in my personal life, working in recovery, but in institutions that I've worked in as create programs and spaces that people can come and be authentically themselves and, and share maybe struggling and those the opportunities then to get people into help.

 

Karen Ortman  33:13

Can you speak to resources that were helpful to you, for listeners who might themselves be struggling or or love someone who is?

 

Adam Hill  33:31

You know, just recently, there's been a national movement of Crisis Intervention online, and, you know, calling that's one available option. But I think for me, it's you know, I mean, my big part is, has been a and in those recovery circles, and, honestly, there's meetings, every minute of every hour of every day, all across the world. And that's really exciting. And the neat thing about the pandemic, if there was any silver lining is that so many of those have been virtual. Yeah. And you know, I my home herb is actually out of Chicago and I attend that when I was in Indiana and even now in Colorado, and it's really cool that that's opened up a whole new world for people in recovery as well as health and telemedicine for counseling that has been a really a great thing. You know, one plug that I would also just put in that I think it's really important to acknowledge is those affected by substance use disorder, alcohol use disorder, and you know, my wife did Al Anon. She helps other family members or spouses that are in relationships of individuals are trying to achieve sobriety and, and that's a beautiful thing that I can't speak up because that's not my experience, but seeing How she has made a difference in an impact because of her experience. I think that's a really powerful thing. And something that shouldn't be overlooked.

 

Karen Ortman  35:08

You wrote this very personal story, detailing the darkest depths of your depression, suicidal ideation and addiction. What was the catalyst for this book that ultimately could have cost you EVERYTHING once published?

 

Adam Hill  35:31

Yeah, you know, when I, when I wrote it, I really felt it as this therapeutic process, there was this next step of my recovery of just getting it out and working through it. And it really flowed out of me a minute, I wrote the initial iteration of this book, and it's hard to believe, for most people, but 80% of the original draft and five days. Wow. And then mind you, you know, probably half of that ended up in the final book. And it was a two plus year process after that. But it really did sort of just it was this therapeutic process. But I, you know, there's a, I don't know, for any of your listeners who are Pearl Jam fans, but Eddie Vetter talks about the song alive and how he wrote that out of teenage angst and hatred and depression, and all these moments of difficulty in his childhood, and not knowing his father, and but he talks about going on tour and how, after a decade of playing that it sold out, stadiums and people screaming, and just excited and joyful, singing the lyrics, you know, well, I'm still alive, how the meaning of the song changed from the self pitying Oh, I'm still alive to an empowerment. And, and I love like, thinking about that just in writing the book, because it did start initially as this therapeutic and just getting out my own thoughts, and, but it really evolved for me into two things. One, hopefully being able to reach somebody else who was struggling, and that they would resonate with at least one piece of the story. The second is that, you know, having become a father, a year before initially started drafting the book, it is this, you know, not to my own children that no matter what they go through in their life, or diagnosis or difficulty, they may have that they had a father who tried his best to show up authentically in the midst of that he'll love them no matter what. And, you know, those are the two things the book means to me now.

 

Karen Ortman  37:59

What inspires you?

 

Adam Hill  38:04

You know, probably the thing that inspires me the most is being around passionate people, whether that's in the hospital, and team members, or colleagues that are showing up with a purpose in their life, or people in recovery are doing the same thing. So I, you know, I really get fueled and energized by people who are doing things with meaning and with purpose and conviction. I think that that's one of the things that inspires me the most.

 

Karen Ortman  38:37

Do you think that we'll ever be able to remove the stigma from these conversations related to mental health? Addiction? All the things that should be spoken about that aren't?

 

Adam Hill  38:54

I do, you know, I mean, I, I have to have that hope. And it will always remain in me. I mean, you know, I see that I have a very, very, very small part to play, and to play it to the best of my ability, but you also see generational movements and generational change in so many facets of our culture in our society that I think are exciting. And, you know, if if we don't try to leave it a better world for our kids. I say that they're sure as hell are going to do it for themselves. I love that.

 

Karen Ortman  39:34

Do you think that students entering medical school now who are concerned about their own mental health and revealing the fact that they suffer is something that they can more freely speak about anytime in the near future?

 

Adam Hill  39:58

I absolutely I mean, think they do, and it is currently happening in a much more routine and normalized way. You know, there are these occasional war stories, they get tossed around, that I think recirculate over time of, and there's truth in individuals who, you know, have definitively lost their careers or opportunities or discriminated against, or, I went through a process of that and my own and wrote about it. And, you know, the, the truth of a lot of daily lived experience for somebody who's going through depression, and starting on an antidepressant in medical school now is so much more normalized than it was 15 years ago. And, and that's what, you know, I just encourage people all the time to continue to seek help and treatment because, you know, we are in a different place and, and in providing a lot more resources for students.

 

Karen Ortman  41:01

Is there anything that we haven't talked about that you would like to share?

 

Adam Hill  41:08

No, I really appreciate the opportunity to share and some really insightful questions. I, you know, I love my life now. And I'm just so grateful. I was talking to somebody in recovery this morning, that, you know, I couldn't even imagine the miracles and the blessings, both professionally, if, you know, now being in this incredible leadership job at Children's Hospital in Colorado, to personally, you know, being a husband and father of three and just being able to show up for the, you know, my kids life is every day like, it's just a miracle. And you know, I'm, I'm just incredibly blessed and grateful to have gone through those difficult times, because then they give me this latitude and barometer for what I'm experienced now. And it's really incredible.

 

Karen Ortman  42:06

You are an angel on Earth, especially given the work that you do. So I thank you.

 

Adam Hill  42:12

I appreciate it. Thank you.

 

Karen Ortman  42:14

So thank you once again, to my guest, Dr. Hill, and to all of our listeners for joining us for today's episode of You matter if any information presented was triggering or disturbing. Please feel free to contact the wellness exchange at 212-443-9999 or NYU is Department of campus safety and their victim services unit at 212-998-2222. Please share, like and subscribe to you matter on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or tune in