Episode 128: Michelle Corrao, Abduction Survivor

Intro Voices  00:04

Where do I go? The only happened was, I was singled out. The phone calls began about one month ago. What is hazing? Something happened to me when I was out? I'm worried about my safety. He said he was sorry, can someone help me? Where can I get? Can someone help me?

 

Karen Ortman  00:30

This is you matter, a podcast for the NYU community developed by the Department of campus safety. Hi, everyone, and welcome back to you matter, a podcast created to teach, inspire and motivate members of the NYU community who have been victimized in some form or fashion, and to identify resources both on and off campus that can help. I'm your host Karen Ortman, Associate Vice President of campus safety operations at the Department of campus safety, and a retired law enforcement professional. Today I welcome Michelle Corrao, author of found triumph over fear with grace and gratitude, the Michelle correo story, to share her journey to recovery following her abduction in front of her home in 1996, after which she was sexually assaulted multiple times, and then forced into the trunk of her own car, where she was later found by an off duty police officer who saved her life. Michelle, welcome to you matter.

 

Michelle Corrao  01:33

Thank you so much, Karen. It's an honor to be with you today.

 

Karen Ortman  01:36

My honor completely. Let's go back to September 12 1996. Tell me what happened.

 

Michelle Corrao  01:47

Sure. So September 12 1996, I lived in Fort Wayne, Indiana, and I worked a construction job managing projects from ground on up and I had been on at a project that day, and was very tired. It was 930 at night, and I was driving home. And as I came to my street, and I was I was driving down my street, I saw three individuals walking down the middle of my street. So you know, my gut instinct said, huh, doesn't look right doesn't feel right, I think I'm gonna drive around my block, in hopes that when I come back around, they'll they will be gone. And that's exactly what I did. I drove around my block, and I came back down my street, and I didn't see them anymore. And so I went ahead and pulled up to my front door. And I grabbed my things out of my car and walked up to my front door. And the next thing you know, I was on the ground. I had no idea what happened. I think I was in denial at that moment. Because I thought did I fall did I stumble over something. And I was wasn't until I realized when I lifted my head, I felt the warmth of the blood running down my face. And this voice that came at me that said, if you scream, I will use this as he shoved a gun to my face. What time was this? It was like at 9:30 at night.

 

Karen Ortman  03:19

And you said you got to your front door. And then the next thing you knew you were on the ground.

 

Michelle Corrao  03:25

It's odd when I when I you try to look back and and account for every minute of what happened. And I've done that so many times

 

Karen Ortman  03:34

I'm sure.

 

Michelle Corrao  03:35

You know, did I What did I feel? Did I really feel that blow to the head? And I really didn't feel the pain of that. Because obviously, all of a sudden I was in the mode of oh my gosh, I mean, I can't describe that feeling of, you know, when I heard his voice and what came out of his mouth. You know, nothing, obviously can prepare you for that. So there's I can't describe it. It's undescribable other than I knew I was gonna die.

 

Karen Ortman  04:04

Did that voice sound familiar at all to you?

 

Michelle Corrao  04:07

No.

 

Karen Ortman  04:08

Did you know at that moment that there were two other people? No. Do you know if there were any neighbors or any passers by who saw anything?

 

Michelle Corrao  04:17

No, but I had hoped a light came on I had a light that you know comes on when you when it no you know, it's aware that you're coming that I was coming to my front door and I hoped that somebody had heard as a matter of fact, I thought somebody's got to hear something or see something that's happening right now. But unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

 

Karen Ortman  04:41

Yeah. So tell me what happens next.

 

Michelle Corrao  04:44

So I as I said, you know, I I knew I was gonna die. I mean, at that moment, I thought I know I'm gonna die now. So I begged him for my life. I begged him to take my things. You could have whatever he wanted. You can take my call Are I, I promise I won't tell anybody. And instead, he picked me up from the ground and shoved the gun to my back and told me again, not to look at him and, and so I was looking down, I was going to do anything that he asked me to do. And I was looking at the ground as he drugged me to my backyard. And that's where I saw saw four other feet. And then I saw two other hand guns that these other two individuals had. And again, in that moment, I took that opportunity to beg for my life.

 

Karen Ortman  05:32

And what was the response?

 

Michelle Corrao  05:35

You know, "No, you'll go tell somebody". You know, that's all I remember them saying, as I tried to stay very cognizant about their communication and what they were going to do next. And, you know, that's when they proceeded to shove me down to the ground and then tie my hands behind my back and ultimately ended up blindfolding me and gagging me. So I lost the opportunity of utilizing my voice and my sight. Now, I did know that they were going to bring my car down the alley,

 

Karen Ortman  06:06

Was your car parked in front of your house?

 

Michelle Corrao  06:09

It was parked in front of my house. Yes, I parked it, and I didn't have in a garage or anything that attached garages.

 

Karen Ortman  06:15

And they brought you to the rear of your house,

 

Michelle Corrao  06:18

There was an alley behind my house. So I had a chain link fence that was in my backyard. And and then there was an alleyway right behind that chain link fence.

 

Karen Ortman  06:30

Did they end up getting your car?

 

Michelle Corrao  06:32

They did. So they ended up driving my car down the alley from what I heard. And I happened to be wearing a red skirt, long skirt and a buttoned up jacket that night. And they wanted me to climb the fence. And obviously with my hands tied, I couldn't do that. And so they ultimately they took off my shoes, and they ended up throwing me over the fence. And they opened the trunk to my car, I heard it and they threw me in the trunk of my car. And then the car sped off. And that is when I took the opportunity to get my hands free. And I tried desperately to make no sort of noise. Because I was afraid that what might happen if I did. And so I tried to keep very quiet. And I did get my hands free. And what I realized was when they hit the brake in my car, the light came on in the trunk. And that's when I really desperately tried to search for a way out. Is there a trunk release? Can I get the trunk open? Is there anything that I can possibly do to get it out of the trunk of my car. And so I I couldn't find a way and that's when I I happened to be wearing a ring that was my grandmother's it was a diamond and ruby ring. And I had and I was wearing a bracelet that was a gift from a guy that I was dating. So I took those pieces of jewelry off and hid them in the crevice of the trunk. And helps my my thought was, at least somebody would know that I was in the trunk of my car. If they had to try and find me, no matter what happened to me. I didn't want them to get those two pieces of jewelry that meant something to me. So yes, I mean, I'm a very faithful person. I put my hands together in prayer, you know, praying to God that I could tell my mom, I loved her, you know, one more time. So that's when the trunk of the car stopped. And they opened up the trunk and they had recognized that I got my hands free I am blindfolded and gagged to myself. And so with great force, they grabbed me out of the trunk they tied my hands tied behind my back and re-blindfold and and gagged me.

 

Karen Ortman  08:46

Did they reveal anything about themselves what they were doing, why they were doing what they were doing at any point?

 

Michelle Corrao  08:54

Hm not at that time. I think it was kind of a given for me. I mean, I What, ultimately, I probably knew what was going to happen, but I didn't where they were going to stay alive through this, that I didn't, I didn't know that. And I ultimately didn't know where they were taking me because I couldn't see. I mean they again blindfolded me and they then drag me down. I remember just feeling the gravel on my feet. And they're kind of panic state by dragging me down this alley in case you know, that was a dog barking and I was hoping and praying that somebody would hear something. And then they took me in to a I just I didn't know at the time that it was a garage but I just remember it feeling very closed in and I had to step over something to get into this very closed in area. And that's where they ripped my clothes off and they took turns raping me and ever which way they can figure out, I lost my life in that garage that night. And, you know, as, as I'm have just vocalized this again, as I have several times, you know, it was an out of body experience, you know, even that, you know, running down and realizing, okay, what's going to happen next and kind of knowing what might happen next is an out of body experience, because I believe that if I would have felt that sheer pain that grief that I don't know that I would be sitting here sharing my story. Because it's almost you try to keep yourself alive. And I think that's your, that's your coping mechanism, or that's you're saving your life, you know, you're in the mode of saving your life. I did, I just was, I just felt like this rag doll that they, you know, were just doing whatever they wanted to with and I couldn't fight them off. I mean, I didn't feel my head injury. I know that I was sick to my stomach. I know. I was gagging through it all. I know. You know, that difficult pneus of it. But the pain of it was more of an out of body like I was looking in on what was happening instead of it happening to me.

 

Karen Ortman  11:25

Do you know how long you were in that garage?

 

Michelle Corrao  11:29

I do not.

 

Karen Ortman  11:32

How did you get out of the garage?

 

Michelle Corrao  11:34

Well, when they were finished, they dragged me back out of the garage and back down the alleyway and then threw me into the trunk of my car. Did they blindfold you again? Oh, yeah, I didn't I remained blindfolded. Oh, that. Yeah. Okay.

 

Karen Ortman  11:50

What about your hands?

 

Michelle Corrao  11:52

They were tied. They remain tied? Yeah. I did not know what was gonna happen next. Yeah. I, I almost immediately went unconscious when they put me back into the trunk of the car. So I have no idea. You know, I had no opportunity to try to get myself free or I just went unconscious.

 

Karen Ortman  12:16

So then what happened?

 

Michelle Corrao  12:20

I ultimately came to, but it was because of a voice that I came to. And this time, as I was coming to when I heard this voice, it was it was different. It was a different type of voice. It was a different voice. And my mindset was, this is going to happen again, like, or is this some kind of drug dealer, they're meeting up with somebody, or they're gonna get me back out of the trunk. And this is all going to keep happening. And I thought, I've got nothing to lose. I'm going to kick on the trunk of my car. Now I clicked on it very cautiously to let somebody know that I was in the trunk. Yeah. But I had no idea. What was next to happen? I had no idea that this voice that answered that kick on the trunk, was a voice that said, I am Detective Arthur Billingsley of the Fort Wayne Police Department. Hold on, and I'm going to get you out.

 

Karen Ortman  13:18

Wow, that gives me chills when you say that.

 

Michelle Corrao  13:21

Me too. I think at that point, I ultimately was in big, huge denial. Yeah, because I thought it was a nightmare. I believe that it was a nightmare. And I remember, I just remember opening and closing my eyes and opening and closing my eyes thinking, I am in this nightmare. And now this dream is coming in to save my life. I don't know if you've ever felt those nightmares where they seem real. Yes, I've had them before where you wake up and go, Oh my gosh. That's what I thought it was. Because I couldn't possibly believe that this just happened to me. And what I know now, Detective Billingsley, I think was probably much more shocked than I was that there was somebody in the trunk of this car. As he was chasing this guy, these guys and I'll tell you how that came to be. He happened to be, you know, he was a detective. And his shift ended. I believe that 1030 Or a little after he had been on a case that night and his usual he was a single guy. So his usual go out, drive around, get something to eat restaurants were closing at that time. So you know, he had a group of people that he watched out for. And this particular night, he was so exhausted that he decided to go home and get out of his car, and he kept feeling this nudge, get back in your car. And he said tonight, I'm not getting back in my car. And it was on that third nudge that he actually got back in his car. And you know, We have these decisions. Am I going to turn right or am I going to turn left? And he turned right and he went down a back road behind a restaurant in Fort Wayne, Indiana called Bandidos. And he saw two guys at the back of the restaurant. And as he saw these two guys, he thought, wow, this is closing time, you know, they're locking up well, as he drove past. They took off running. And my car happened to be parked in a wooded lot right in the back of the restaurant next to the restaurant. And he saw the guys run to my car, and he saw the light go on. So obviously them running. He knew something was not right. So he chased them. And he was able to handcuff one of the guys that night, the guy that stayed back at my car to make sure I didn't escape. And yeah, that was where he was making sure that the scene was secure before he got me out of the trunk of my car.

 

Karen Ortman  15:54

That is amazing. Talk about a heavenly Angel, right?

 

Michelle Corrao  16:01

Yeah, it still is surreal to me when I share this story, like, how could that be like my prayers are answered? Yeah. You know, I mean, it's it's incredible how out of all the 1000s of people in Fort Wayne, Indiana, and the crime and everything happening that night? How could it be that

 

Karen Ortman  16:24

and it speaks volumes about detective Billingsley, who followed his gut did what he was sworn to do.

 

Michelle Corrao  16:33

This has helped me out too, because a lot of times, we're too tired, you know, to respond to what our gut instinct is saying. And I know I'm guilty of it, not anymore. Because there's something about that, to listen to your gut. And how life saving that can be and how altering that can be. And he did. And I know he had to have been very tired. But now knowing him. He would do it every day of the week. He's such a humble, he's the most humble person I've ever met in my whole entire life.

 

Karen Ortman  17:09

And he's a very special part of your life. Since 1996.

 

Michelle Corrao  17:14

He is he's my brother, he's part of our family. He has become definitely a big huge part of our family. We ultimately celebrate every single day together. You know, because life is such a gift. And that's one thing that I've been gifted is I know that every day is a gift. You don't know what tomorrow holds for you.

 

Karen Ortman  17:40

And your son has a special name as a result.

 

Michelle Corrao  17:44

He does. Yes, we are super duper. I mean, I'm blessed that I have gotten to realize I was 32 at the age, you know, at the time that this happened, and you know, your life you think 32 Like my life's already over, you know, like nothing else, you know, yeah, they're in the works is, you know, our kids in the works. I don't know, I didn't have those dreams because I was 32. And then this happened. And then I had no hope or no dreams. And that's why in as you talked about my book, that's why the book is so important. That hope is attainable, I believe, for everybody. And I hope to somebody that I'm living proof of that. You because there were some really dark days, and I know we're probably going to talk about that. But yeah, my son, I'm very grateful that I have a son that I can name after detective Arthur Billingsley. Yes. Yeah. So that's super special. And they're, they're like Best Buddies. And it's fun to just, you know, walk back and watch them. And you know, Christians done art is His name is Christian Arthur, and he's done projects, you know, he thought I'm gonna be a police officer. And it's funny how that evolved. It's beautiful, how that how that evolved and how their closeness came, you know, together and just the special bonds that our family holds. Not only have we been to each other's weddings, but to hospital when we've had our kids to, you know, celebrating the anniversary of my assault. And, you know, I celebrate that day, every single year, and I want it to be a great day. I want to do something fun. And this past year, we got together for dinner. You know, my husband and Detective Billingsley and his wife Leslie all got together for dinner and I always gift him with some Hero gift. So that's a blessing. I you know, in the middle of this, I have to say at this time because I don't want to not say this, but there are so many More. There are so many more good things that have come out of this than that. And that's where I'm hoping that anybody in a dark place could get to that place. Yeah, that hope is attainable. And it doesn't come without a price. It takes a lot of hard work. For anybody going through trauma. Yeah, the darkness of it is almost you feel like you cannot get out of it. It's suffocating. Yeah.

 

Karen Ortman  20:31

The suspects were identified. They were arrested. Yes, what happened? Did they go to trial? Did they plead guilty?

 

Michelle Corrao  20:43

Yes. Thank you for asking, because that's a whole nother story in itself. They have two of them. So the one was handcuffed that evening. They were young guys. They were 1921 and 23. So the youngest one is was handcuffed that night. And the other two were then found within the next two days. So the younger one that was caught that night turned the other two in,

 

Karen Ortman  21:11

okay. Did you ever learn their motive?

 

Michelle Corrao  21:15

So I The other thing about this is they were four other victims prior to me, they tag these guys, the trunk rapist during that summer, there was a series of rapes that summer. So there were four other and possibly even five, four others came forward. And they, we all went through my, my case was the very last one since they were caught with me and I was last. So there were trials for the other women. With my case, ultimately, they ended up pleading. to two of them pled guilty, the one that hit me over the head that raped me repeatedly is serving no time for me. Yes. That was very hard to deal with. As a matter of fact, when I learned of that a year later out of the newspaper, I felt like I was going to collapse. And I was gonna go crazy. Because number one of the way I learned about it, but number two that he's not serving any time for me, and how could that be? No. So I had to really take a breath, because I felt like, I felt like I took few steps forward, that I had just taken 10,000 back, and how am I going to recoup from this, you know, learning that he is going to serve no time for me. And I'm not going to go to trial for him, I'm not going to be on the stand to say how this has affected my life. And so how did this happen?  Well, they they said that they didn't have any DNA to charge him with what he did to me. It's hard to believe that. But what I had to come to terms and grips with is that because he's the one that had my credit cards, he's the one that hit me on the head with the gun and in the blood was on the gun. And you know, there's so much there. But what I had to come to terms with is he is serving 320 years. So he is not going to get out of prison.

 

Karen Ortman  23:27

How do you have the strength to even talk about this?

 

Michelle Corrao  23:35

I'll tell you, what was kind of, you know, people often ask me, were there aha moments, there were several aha moments, there was not just one. But I can tell you one that really affected me was I moved away from Fort Wayne, after all the trials with my husband, who at the time I was dating him, don't ask me why he stayed. It was pure love, deep love for me because it was very, very difficult. And I'd love to talk about that darkness after I answer this question, but it was when I moved that I searched for continual healing like how am I going to continue healing I feel like it's a process and ongoing forever process. But I came up crossed a victim services agency that that's all they did. They provided services for victims of crime and abuse. And I started going to a group there and realized how much progress I had made compared to the other women in the group which was really wonderful for me and I found helping them and supporting them was so such a gift and then ultimately I ended up because I had been through lots and lots of therapy. I mean every week I was going to therapy And I knew that I had to work hard to get to a place that's kind of me by but I did want to give up several times, it wasn't that I didn't, because it was very to go through that therapy. And when I started working in victim services, it came to a point where I, I didn't work directly with clients because I wasn't ready. And that wasn't the place where I wanted to be. So I did a lot of outside work and marketing the agency. But it came to a point where we wanted to start education, and I spoke to a small group, and I thought, Okay, I'm gonna check this off my list. Well, then I got asked by a college to speak to this college, Manchester College in Indiana. And I said yes to it, because it was going to be with 80 students, and they could swipe their cards, and they could get credit. And I thought college campus is so important that we are talking to the campuses to end sexual violence, you know, or how can we support people who have ultimately experienced it? So I go to the campus and I, you know, getting ready to speak 400 people showed up, wow, wow, was right. And I was like, Oh, my gosh, but it wasn't that it was afterwards that I had I stayed two hours after there were lines of people, no doubt want to talk to me. And you know, what, I looked up and I said, somebody's got to do something about this. Is this me, you know, somebody's got to speak out about this, we have to change what we're, you know, we have to ultimately, support people are going through sexual trauma and how we're, I mean, anybody from 18 years to Adi, talk to that. And it was eye opening. I mean, I knew it was I didn't know it was that dramatic, but we're in an epidemic. And that's how I saw it. And so I think that's what my response was, Okay. What do I do next? You know, Is this me that's gonna speak out about it, but I knew I had to do something. And that ultimately kind of kicked off in our community, me. With the prosecutor's office, starting a sexual assault response team and our county, I had learned about these teams, and how important what the first responders responses were like with me, and what worked and what didn't in my case. And, and you know, as you know, they're all different, yes. And victims or survivors, however you want to talk about it are all different and all unique, and how you respond to them. And so I wanted to pick this up and take off with it. And with our prosecutor, we formulated this team and wrote an agreement putting the victim first and ending violence in our community. That team is still going very strong. And I was from that I just was on fire. My adrenaline was going, we got to keep, you know, marching in this direction and working on this. And I mean, not only in our community, but be above and beyond. And, you know, I thought that I would check off my speaking that okay, I'm done. I'm checking that off. And it just exploded. I was nominated from you know, who provides the funding for victims of crime. They ultimately nominated me for this big award called the special Courage Award out of Washington DC given by the attorney, US Attorney General. I'm how I was awarded that honor. And it was was very clear to me why real now, it was really surreal. And I didn't know the multitude of that award until I got there. And, you know, here we are, but that really opened the door to me to then speak a lot more and you know, at conferences and first responders conference, I That's my I love connecting and building rapport with first responders and helping them and helping myself how do we respond to victims of crime and abuse? Because ultimately, we have that power in the palm of our hands to change the trajectory of their healing? Yes, I mean, that we have the we have that power to save their lives with a smile or one word or just to allow them to be present and feel safe and to breathe. You know, there's so much about that where I didn't get that chance. I was, you know, went to the hospital and I was going to you know, they were going to pull evidence from my body. Thank goodness for sexual assault nurse examiners, Fort Wayne had just started a sexual assault or sexual assault nurse program, you know, at the same program, and thank goodness for them. They had just started that year. Yes. You know,

 

Karen Ortman  29:55

I remember when the same sort of sexual assault nurse examiners sex Your Assault Response Teams were initiated in New Jersey. When I first started in law enforcement, and I was of course in it was called the rape unit back then. Yeah, we detectives had to assist doctors in doing the rape kits.

 

Michelle Corrao  30:18

Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

 

Karen Ortman  30:22

You know, we weren't trained. Yeah, that's a lot. And yeah, but yeah, I mean, I'm grateful for the experience, because you learn so much about what the survivor is going through. And then what's required evidentiary wise to, to build a case prove a case. But I was very grateful when the st Start program started, and what tremendous individuals they are that comprise those teams.

 

Michelle Corrao  30:53

I agree. I I 100% agree. And it's about understanding what each role takes in that. It's, you know, because I could sit here, I mean, years ago, I could have said, I'm so mad at law enforcement, I'm so mad at the prosecutor, I'm so mad, you know, why didn't they do this? It's, and that's what I really talk about. It's about coming together and understanding and realizing what each role we each play in it, and allowing us to learn from each other. And that's about putting the victim first. I mean, we're, we're dealing with lives, that rape kit is a life, yeah, it just takes all of us to change somebody's life for the better that are in such a traumatic situation, that that's why I say we're ultimately such an important role in their journey, you know, in their survival. You know, this book is a very short book, but it it, I think it just brings together, you know, people that are ultimately trying to help one another. And it also brings together it also gives respect and dignity to those survivors out there, that, hey, that's a very dark place to be. And it's, as I tell audiences, when I speak, I can stand here and talk about this all day long. But I can't tell you exactly what it's like, whether I had a mom and a sister who were supporting me, I still felt so alone, because they had their own trauma that they were working through because it happened to their loved one, you know, and my now husband, the trauma that we both went through through what he went through as a secondary victim in dealing with the the side of myself in the darkness that I was in, in, you know, trying to put this mask on, so that everybody would think that I was okay. But inside, I was dying. And it was dark, and I hated myself and I, everybody else was getting on with their life. And I couldn't this became my whole being is trying to survive from this trauma. And that's what's so really hard to describe on what that is like, even though people you know, onlookers, you know, when they were talking about it on the news, and they said, well, now she's home safe with her family and friends. That was the last place I was, like, I was in a really dark place. And when I say, you know, to, you know, one day, every day, I would wake up and say, Okay, this is going to be the day and I'm going to be better. It would be the worst day of my life. You know, I would wake up and the darkness would just overtake me. And were you alone?

 

Karen Ortman  33:36

Were you staying alone at that time?

 

Michelle Corrao  33:38

I was not I couldn't be alone for nine months. I couldn't I mean, going to the bathroom. I had to have somebody stand outside of the bathroom. It was that bad. I lived in denial, fear and anger. They became my best friends. And, yeah, for nine months, I couldn't be alone. And I was such an independent person, you know? So but what I realized, in those days, were being in those dark days, then going through it and journaling through it. And you know, because I felt so alone, I just had to write about it. And I realized that that's what I was really taking steps forward, because I was going through it because trust me, I tried to go over, around and under instead of going through and feeling that pain and grieving the loss of who I was because I wanted me back so desperately.

 

Karen Ortman  34:30

Tell me about the resources that you relied on back then. And any new ones that you discovered since the incident.

 

Michelle Corrao  34:37

Yeah, so like I said this, that sexual assault nurse examiners that was a new program in Fort Wayne. So that was awesome. But I went in search for two things. When I left the hospital the next morning, I looked out the window and I watched cars passed by and I wondered what those people were going through. through. And then I wondered how am I going to get through this, I've got to talk to somebody who has gone through something similar to know that hope is within reach to know that I'm ever going to be happy, because I didn't feel it at that moment. So I went in search for resources. I knew I had had a therapist prior to this. So I relied on her a lot, even though she didn't specialize it because I went looking, there weren't very many resources back then, or therapists that really specialized in sexual trauma. And so we worked through that together. But then I went to the library and found a book. And that was really my saving grace, then this book was called within a dark wood by Jennifer bar, and I read that book, and I wish I could find her today. So I've tried to search for her to tell her what that meant to me that my going crazy, was really normal in my abnormal situation. So I relied on that. But I relied a lot on therapy and going on a weekly basis. And then I tried to find a group to go to I didn't really find one that I connected with, until I moved. And so I found prevail. And I moved from Fort Wayne, and found an agency called prevail, where I began, that's where I went to group. And then I ultimately began working there. I left the business world to answer the phone part time there. And then I just, it just everything happened. I worked like I probably had seven different titles up to executive director. So which was truly amazing. When I look back on my life, if you would have ever asked me that I would be an executive director of a nonprofit like this, I would have said there's absolutely no way that's why anything is possible. So the resources began to grow. And I had opportunities as I went in different communities in different states to speak, I would always want to see what what they offered as resources for survivors, because that was really important. What can we take from that? Or what can we offer them? And I think at prevail, we just really started expanding our resources. And I think within time, you know, I've, I've seen things change dramatically, I mean, hugely, we have a long ways to go. You know, I just think it's always a work in progress, we could always do better. And, but I think the resources definitely have expanded. I've gotten to work with some brilliant sexual assault nurse examiners, and some brilliant law enforcement, it's where we have connected and offered training in our own community for for those and, and our community member, I mean, just people living in our community, I've been able to build a speaker's bureau for those survivors that want to share their story. It's been truly amazing. And I think just expanding across the country I've seen and I know, I probably could ask you the same question, how have you seen, you know, services expand and grow? I think that we've been blessed to be able to do that, you know, expand services and recognize and I think part of my story is really recognize that it's out there when I said that it was an epidemic, you know, it's everywhere. I mean, I've spoken spoken to Army bid on army bases to college campuses, you know, to communities,

 

Karen Ortman  38:36

you know, what I would like to see change, I would like when these matters are reported in the media, that the survivor isn't attacked. That's what I would like to say, Wow, that's not there. Yeah, the survivor is vilified her previous or his sexual history is examined down to every detail from the course of their entire life, what they were wearing, if they've used substances or not. Everything about their character and their appearance is an issue. And then nobody wants to talk about the offender. Who might be well known or, or even if they're not.

 

Michelle Corrao  39:24

Right, you could see me nodding my head. So that's all right. So one of the things and that happened to me, you know, what were you wearing? Why were you out at night? You know, those kinds of questions. And of course, that just sets a survivor off.

 

Karen Ortman  39:39

Let's see, I can understand law enforcement asking that question because there's

 

Michelle Corrao  39:43

a reason it wasn't long before. Okay, the media.

 

Karen Ortman  39:47

No, you're not the finders of fact.

 

Michelle Corrao  39:51

So one of the things that I realized there's a lot there is a lot of victim blaming, it's it's in our communities. You know, people wander and when they see a news cat Basketball. What was she doing? Well, she shouldn't have done that. Why didn't she scream? Why didn't? And that's where I don't care if somebody's running around naked. I used to say the same thing. It doesn't give anybody a right to sexually assault somebody. Yeah, correct. Now, it's not a good choice. But you know, it still doesn't give anybody a right I don't care, and I don't care what they're wearing. And I don't care. It still doesn't, you know, so. But one thing that I did learn along the way, and I will tell you, I load the media, the media, I did not like the media, I couldn't watch anything that was on the news, because it made headlines for three years, it was a huge case, you know, with four other women. And so I couldn't watch it. And then I began to watch it. You know, because I am a closure, I have to put closure on everything. And as I watched, and as I heard what they said, and as I walked, worked in victim services, I thought about it. And I began to make friends with the media. And I'll tell you why. Here's what happened. Because we need the media to help tell our tell. We have services available, we need you media to let people know that services are available. So I became very particular on what media I spoke with. And there was, and this is what happened, one of the media that told my story, her name is Karen Hensel. She was an anchor, and she was sharing my story. And I reached out to her as she moved to the Indianapolis area, and we work together. And here's what I told her. And I learned what the media does. And we work together I said, if you if somebody if the media asked me to share something, I will ask them what their goal is. And the only way that I will do it, is if you share what resources are out there and you give dignity and respect to the survivor. We have to we have to make people more aware. And it's about education. Yeah. So if we can work with the media to provide that to provide them education, to provide our communities with education on how we can end this violence. That's what we need to do. Agreed. You know, what? Yeah, the media still does that. But I do believe that if we can work as a resource for media, I think we can work together to make, you know, make this happen.

 

Karen Ortman  42:20

Did you ever learn whether these offenders targeted you?

 

Michelle Corrao  42:26

You know, that is a question that we asked the prosecutor and what do you think happened? The prosecutor says, No, it was random. However, I you know, there's lots of stories I worked at the why I developed all the sides of my full time job, I developed all the exercise programs at the Y in Fort Wayne on the south side. And you know, one of the guys played basketball there, I heard that I hadn't lived in my residence for very long, you know that, but how they knew to be in the backyard, how they knew where I was going to park my car. It just seems rather odd that,

 

Karen Ortman  43:06

you know, where am I other survivors? From your precise location? No. Okay. What was it like going home for the first time?

 

Michelle Corrao  43:19

I never went back there to live. I understand that. But I have been back, because again, I have to put closure on things. And so I did go back. I've been back a couple of times, as a matter of fact, and it's been very, very healing for me to do that.

 

Karen Ortman  43:38

Good. Did you get your grandmother's ring and your then boyfriends bracelet?

 

Michelle Corrao  43:45

I did and that's the guy. That's who I'm married to? My husband? Yep. Okay. Yeah.

 

Karen Ortman  43:52

Why do you think it's so important to share your story

 

Michelle Corrao  43:58

so that others can know that hope is attainable. that anything is possible.

 

Karen Ortman  44:05

I think if anyone were to read your book, which you can see I have with me, I know you have it with you. They will certainly find hope in your story. So I recommend anybody who is interested to find your book found. How has your perspective on life changed since 1996?

 

Michelle Corrao  44:33

Oh, wow, a lot. It's changed a lot. As I mentioned earlier, I believe that every day is a gift. I live every day with gratitude before my feet hit the floor. I am grateful for my life. I could have never ever ever imagined that I would have the most amazing husband. For everything that I've been through even prior to my assault. I have the most amazing husband i I have my son, Christian Arthur who's named after the detective that saved my life. And we have the most amazing daughter that I want to be like her when I grow up. And our dog who is you know, makes us laugh every time we have this beautiful, amazing, crazy, amazing, fun, faithful family, I could have never ever imagined when I say that no matter what you go through, it is so hard to get through. I, I know that I've been through so many things. And, you know, this is one of many that it's attainable. It takes a lot of hard work, but it is attainable. And that's what I'm hoping that if I could save somebody long periods of healing that this book can help them through that, that it can change their trajectory, but it can affirm them on where they are. That's really important to me, to give that affirmation, to know that happiness is attainable. Yeah. I also would love to add that I get to continue this work with just serving and providing hope for women, especially women, I now work at a home called the O'Connor House, which is a home that provides services for women who are homeless and pregnant, and we're actually a program that they can live for up to 18 months. So you know, I just am continually blast throughout my life that I get to serve. And that's what I want to dedicate my life doing is to serve to again, provide that hope and healing for others.

 

Karen Ortman  46:47

You are for others what you didn't have.

 

Michelle Corrao  46:53

Thank you.

 

Karen Ortman  46:54

Absolutely. You're a blessing.

 

Michelle Corrao  46:56

Thank you so much.

 

Karen Ortman  46:58

You're a special person. I'm very honored to have met you.

 

Michelle Corrao  47:03

Well, thank you so much for for doing this for others for taking this on. Because it's a lot. It's a big undertaking. Thank you for caring enough and making a difference.

 

Karen Ortman  47:14

Oh, thank you. Is there anything that we haven't talked about that you would like to share?

 

Michelle Corrao  47:20

Well, there's lots we haven't talked about.

 

Karen Ortman  47:22

I know.

 

Michelle Corrao  47:23

So I yeah, I'm trying to think. You know, I think pretty much we've touched on everything. It's the most important for thing for me is is gratitude, right is gratitude. How grateful I am to first responders, how grateful I am to law enforcement. And, you know, if I could say listen to your gut, listen to your gut, you know, I do have a very special relationship with detective Arthur Billingsley. It's been beautiful to work with him to, you know, be part of his family, and that I got to meet him. So I'm forever grateful. By you know, if anybody's interested in my book, it can be found on Amazon and Barnes and Noble and books admit I mean, any kind of resource. Yes, I also have a website. I love you know, people always say, Oh, she's too busy. I'm never too busy for somebody to reach out for me for help. I do have a website, which is Michelle correo.com. You know, please take a look at that. If you know somebody who's in a situation, maybe that can help them maybe there's something on there that that can help. I do list a few resources on there. But ultimately, I just want to I want to be supportive, and I want to provide hope for those who need it.

 

Karen Ortman  48:53

Thank you. You're an inspiration.

 

Michelle Corrao  48:55

Thank you so much. I appreciate you. It's been an honor and a blessing.

 

Karen Ortman  49:00

Honor is all mine. So thank you once again to my guest, Michelle and to all of our listeners for joining us for today's episode of You matter if any information presented was triggering or disturbing. Please feel free to contact the wellness exchange at 212-443-9999 or NYU US Department of campus safety and their victim services unit at 212-998-2222. Please share like and subscribe to you matter on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or tune in