Accents
By Larissa Lee, Staff Writer

Accents can be one of the most defining characteristics in a person.  After all, the moment a person opens his or her mouth, people can already tell if he or she has an accent.  Accents are amazing; I mean, even in one language, let’s say English, there are several accents.  I remember coming to NYU on my first day and noticing there were so many different kinds of accents and lingos around the dorm.  My roommate, for one, has a slight southern accent because she’s from Atlanta, Georgia.  My next-door neighbor is from California, which to her is "Hella Cool".  As for me, I’m from Framingham, Massachusetts.  I’m not sure how many times I’ve had to say, "Pahk the cah, in Havard yahd" or have been made fun of for saying "wicked retahded".

I can pull a Bostonian accent if I want, but in reality, I do not have any sort of accent.  I guess that some people would just assume that I do on the basis of my ethnicity.  However, I do speak English fluently and have no trace of a "Chinese" or "Asian" accent.  However, this assumption is a serious problem when it comes to stereotyping Asians.  What I often find myself thinking about is why the "Chinese" accent is so detested.  I mean, what is it about a "Chinese" accent that automatically makes it worse than, let’s say, any other "foreign" accent.  What do people or women, specifically, find appealing in a foreign accent?  What is so much more attractive about a French guy whispering romantic words to his sweetheart, than a Chinese guy saying the same thing?  The mystery?  The charm?  Heck, not to be stereotypical or anything, but has anyone ever heard the phrase "mysteries of the Orient"?  In my mind, I cannot see what the radical difference is that makes "Asian" accents less appealing in a lover than any other accents.  Well, then again, perhaps that is the whole point - Asian, not CAUC-asian, but just plain Asian.

But where does this stereotype originate?  I guess one reason that this stereotype is so rampant is because of the way media portrays Asians.  Well, first of all, when I turn on the television, there are hardly any Asians on -period.  If there does happen to be an Asian, there are major stereotypes.  Lately though, (I will have to hand it to the media) there has been a marked diversity in Asian characters.  There are some who are accent-less; for example, Lisa Ling on The View or Connie Cheung or B.D. Wong on Law and Order SVU.  Still, the problem of assuming that Asians have accents is still ever-present.

I remember just the other day I was watching a re-run of Seinfeld.  They were waiting for a table at a Chinese restaurant.  The host was a Chinese man with a thick accent.  The joke in this scene was that the Chinese host pronounces George’s name with such a thick accent that he doesn’t respond and ends up missing a phone call from someone.  Ha.  I’m laughing.  Why is this funny?  I mean, seriously, some people honestly do have these accents.  It really isn’t fair to make it into a joke.

How about movies?  I could easily name a few movies where the Asian accent stereotype is perpetuated.  Take any Jackie Chan movie for example.  I love Jackie Chan; the man has done a lot of good stuff, but he’s an easy target for stereotypes.  First of all, he is a major Asian movie star and he has an accent, therefore helping spread the idea that all Asians have an accent.  The second thing that he does is martial arts.  There is a small stereotype (I say "small" because I don’t think that anyone takes this stereotype seriously anymore, or maybe some do) out there that simply because a person is Asian, he or she must, without a doubt, know kung fu - which just simply isn’t true.  Sure I own a black belt, but its greater purpose is to hold up my pants, not to be worn as an honorary display to the world that I can officially kick your ass.

Sometimes I wonder though, there must be a way to make people more aware that not all Asians have accents and that accents are not something to be ridiculed for.  I know for a fact that sometimes Asians perpetuate this stereotype themselves, perhaps not on purpose, but they do.  For example, if you have ever called a Chinese restaurant for a take-out order, ordering can be a nightmare.  I mean, I’m Chinese and I honestly don’t have a clue about what they are saying sometimes.  Is the food coming in fifteen or fifty minutes, or was she even talking about the food at all?  When you go to a Chinese restaurant and use the chopsticks, take a good look at the wrapper.  Chances are that the instructions are in some sort of illiterate English with incoherent words like "thrumb".  Also, here’s my all-time personal favorite story on accidental misuse of the English language.  As some of you may know, there are buses that run out of Chinatown, NYC and go to Chinatowns in other cities.  Well, the bus line that I take goes to Boston, MA.  I sat down on the bus one day and happened to sit next to one of those "Emergency Exit" stickers on the windows of the bus.  I noticed something peculiar about the sticker, but I had to take a second look to be sure.  The sticker read "EMERGECY EXIT".  Emergency, minus the letter "n".  Say the words out loud, "Emergecy exit".  Anyone notice an accent?  Anyone realize that these stickers are probably mass-produced?  Go ahead and laugh, I most certainly did.  But on a more serious note, these are the kinds of incidents that continually perpetuate the accent stereotype.

So here comes the defining moment at the end of my piece, the part where I as a writer have a brilliant idea that will solve the problem and stereotype of accents.  Well, to be honest, I really don’t have a brilliant solution to this so-called "problem" at all.  I mean, the real problem doesn’t lie in the fact that people have accents, whatever accents they may be.  The problem lies in those who judge on the basis of accents, something that is completely out of my/your/our hands.  As much as a problem as stereotyping and racism is, I alone am not one to change the world.  Perhaps what we should do instead is embrace the "Chinese accent"; treat it like we do a southern accent or a Brooklyn accent.  After all, if there were the remote possibility that we even decide to somehow magically eradicate the Chinese accent, what would be next?  British?  French?  American?  This sounds ludicrous, but it’s true.  Where do we draw the line?  I mean, taking away an accent is like destroying a piece of culture.  Eventually, we’d find ourselves in an accent-less world, where we take a phonetics course in elementary school to prevent "accents".  It would become George Orwell’s world in 1984.  Big Brother is listening to you speak.  Watch your words.  No thanks; I don’t think accents are worth that kind of trouble.  Besides, aren’t there greater problems out in the world we should solve first?  World hunger?  World peace?  After we solve those, then maybe we’ll tackle the "accent" problem.  Maybe.