The Most Evil Questions Girls Ask Their Boyfriends
(cont'd)
By Ada Leung, Columnist

4. For the brief 20 seconds that you allow us to mess around with the radio in your car, we stop on a station that’s playing Britney. You comment, "Damn, this is the 30 millionth time they’ve played Britney’s new song on the radio." We realize you’ve recognized Britney’s song so excitedly turn to you and ask: "Are you a Britney Spears’ fan too?????"
   Even if you’ve been worshipping her since Mickey Mouse Club, there’s no need to clue us in to that much. We’ll be glad that you share similar interests at first, but after a while, we’ll probably start questioning why you own more Britney Spears’ T-shirts than we do. So unless you have a well-structured explanation, don’t give any room for our suspicions that you’re some kind of freak.

5. After a whole day of wonderful shopping with our guy friend, we casually let you know, "Oh, I’m still friends with my ex. You don’t mind, do you?"
   "That’s fabulous! Hell, bring him in to watch football with me, and we can have a couple of beers together. He can have my room, and I’ll sleep in the living room if he likes."

   OR

   "I don’t mind?! Well, of course I don’t mind! Bring him closer so I can jab his head into the floor."

   Truthfully, we don’t expect you to be super accepting of him, nor do we want you to murder our ex. If you’re not comfortable with it, let your girlfriend know, keeping in mind not to impose anything on her. Placing restrictions on your girlfriend will only serve to make you look petty. Tell her you’re not going to be ecstatic if she watches all the new movies with him, leaving you guys with nothing to do, but you trust her enough because she has an intelligent mind of her own to make her own decisions. She’ll be glad that you respect her judgments, and in return, will respect you and know not to go too far as to hurt your feelings.

6. This one doesn’t pop up too much, but some girls who have lower confidence may need some reassurance that they’re not hopeless and destined to be bums. Immediately after some confidence shattering (i.e. right after failing her first midterm), she may ask, "Do you think I’m smart?"
   Poor thing has the intelligence that God bestowed upon cardboard, but she can’t be a complete retard if you decided to be with her, right? Let’s reverse this question a bit. If you were a tad smarter than a pencil, you wouldn’t agree whole-heartedly with utter joy if we decided to notify you of that. Exactly why we don’t need to hear it either. Actually, I take that back. If you really think your girlfriend is as smart as a finished roll of toilet paper, please move on and find someone else who is willing to be degraded in such a manner.

As you’ve probably already deduced, much to your disappointment, there is no right answer I came up with for any of my questions. If there was a handbook on what to say, sure it’d be nice, but wouldn’t things get boring after a while? Without the correct answers to these dreadful questions, you’re probably prone to getting bitch-slapped everyday, but where’s the fun in a relationship without some friendly beating? Besides, you have your whole life ahead of you to mess up and try again. In 80 years or so, I’m sure you’ve had mastered at least one of these questions. All it takes is some wishful thinking...

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