Ideas of Asian femininity and subservience have very old roots. Fantasies of Asian women have been imprinted upon American men for decades thanks to three major wars in the Pacific. Since the 1940s, more than 200,000 Asian women have married United States service men, helping to spread the myth of the Asian "good wife." However, in this new culture, Asian "exoticism" serves to add punch to the familiarity between the sexes. In this age where men and women work together, study together, and parent together, cross-cultural romance provides that valuable spice and "otherness" that many feel is a necessity in relationships.

But, as the stereotypes of Asian docility continue, there is a new emerging perception of Asian power. This stereotype embodies Asian intelligence, vitality, and energy, and is personified in Asian women, making them objects of status and desire; Asian women are now taking the initiative. Todd, 27 speaks from his experience. He's dated Emily, born and mostly raised in South Korea, for two years now. He admits that he had a thing for Asian women's looks, "they have bodies that fit modern clothes extremely well," but is proud to say that "she didn't cook for me, she didn't do my laundry, she has a career. We are together because we have a good time, unrelated to race." Emily dated only American men since coming to this country because she believed that white guys would allow her more autonomy and independence than Asian men. "Asian men are too restrictive, too cultural," she notes. "White women don't know how lucky they are. What other cultures have the men cleaning up after the kids?"

Alex, Caucasian and 22, admits that dating other white girls "is just too tough nowadays. They want seriousness sometimes, but they don't other times. They want sweet guys sometimes, but they're attracted to BMW driving alpha males. Asian women I guess just seem more real."

There are distinctions to make though. There are men out there who date Asian women to live out their sick fantasies. There are men out there who date Asian women because the person they fell in love with just happens to be Asian. There are also men out there who date Asian women because they feel intimidated by other white women. Chris, 29 and white, believes that he just has better luck with Asians than with whites. "I feel like their standards are lower and so I have more confidence approaching them," he shyly admits. "Dating is all about Darwinism and I just don't fare well with white women; too much competition. White women just don't care about someone if they don't make enough money. And, sometimes a wife with language and cultural barriers might appreciate me more." The jury is still out on that one.

Francis, who exclusively dates Asian women, does it because he's a sensitive guy and feels more comfortable with Asians. "I like being emotional and I feel that I can't be with a woman I feel equal to," he quickly states. "I feel less threatened by Asian women. They're not as mean."

What does all of this mean though for the world of dating? The quest for a "nice career woman," and the refusal of some to compete in dating Darwinism is causing many Caucasian men to go absent without leave from the battle of the sexes by dating non-whites. They would rather retreat into the comfort of asexual equality.

Kelly moved from North Carolina, where Asians were few and far between, to New York City, one of this country's Asian capitols where Asians represent a whopping 10%. She was never bothered by Asian women in her hometown, but in New York, she can't help but feel threatened. "I feel like I can't compete with Asian women. They typify man's idea of the perfect woman: petite, slim, and fragile. I know they're probably smart women, but it's frustrating that it seems like all the guys flock to them probably because of their appearance and the stereotypes about how they treat their men." Kelly's feelings represent those of many. At the University of Pennsylvania, which has a thriving Asian population (approximately 25%), the hottest interracial pairing is between white men and Asian women, much to the disappointment of some white women. Numerous students have told me stories about white guys signing up for Asian language classes, and joining Asian student clubs just to meet Asian girls. This holds especially true at UCLA, according to my Caucasian friend Lisa, where Asian enrollment has risen sharply in the past few years. "It's disgusting what some guys will do to date Asian." Judy, a senior at Yale couldn't believe the amount of couples comprised of white guys with Asian girls. "I never knew that it was so prevalent so for the first few weeks, I would just stare at these couples walking around holding hands."