My sister wasn't more than six years old when she raised a confounding and pertinent question.

Sister: Sunny, why isn't there a Chinese Barbie doll? (Note: There is indeed an Asian Barbie doll that you may now purchase under the "International Collection" … the doll is supposedly garbed in a traditional Chinese chi pao but the only thing remotely Asian about what she's wearing are the chrysanthemums and the only thing remotely Asian about the doll herself is her black hair.)
Sunny: See how Barbie has big boobs? (I point to the irregular protrusions on the plastic doll.)
Sister: Uh huh.
Sunny: Well they make Barbie dolls with big boobs on purpose and if they make a Chinese Barbie, they couldn't make her with big boobs- they'd have to give her a flat chest so it'd be more realistic and there's just no reason to make a flat-chested Barbie doll.
Sister: Nuh uh. When I grow up, I'm gonna have huge boobs. (She was six. The poor little darling was still idealistic.)
Sunny: Well, there's this thing called heredity, see, and you have no control over it. Note how Mom has like no cleavage? Note how I have no cleavage either? Yeah well what makes you think Nature isn't gonna screw you over too? (At this point my mother interferes with her usual dose of superficial sunshine. Moms do that. It's what they're good at. They bring you up when you're down and bring you back to a level of humility when you're up.)
Mom: (thick Chinese accent) No worry. Just drink more milk. White people drink lot of milk. That's why theirs are so large. That's all it really takes, milk. Lots of milk, no bone problems and big chest like Barbie. Very good.

There's my Mom for you. Glass half full (of milk) and some pragmatic advice on health.

Well I'm a Mama-listening type gal, so I drank more milk. Lots of milk despite the fact I come from a long line of lactose-intolerant ancestors. The "extra milk" caused diarrhea, translated into fat along my thighs and belly but never went any higher than that. Though I probably won't get osteoporosis anytime soon, I've unfortunately retained the same figure I've had since high school-tall, chunky and (thunderclap and loud scary music…) flat-chested.

Pre-pubescent insecurities:
I miss Kindergarten. Girls and boys played together in the sandbox. Boys may pull pigtails and girls may form girls-only clubs, but for the most part, everyone got along just swell. Then puberty hits and suddenly boys who haven't wet their beds since age 2 begin doing so again and girls start getting cramps and growing lumps and curves all over the place. I didn't care much for the cramps but I was anxiously awaiting the lumps and curves.

Years would pass and every girl in my grade would be out buying C-cups at Victoria's Secret and I was still flat as a pancake. The rest of my body grew, but no-not my boobs. The problem became so exhausting I voiced my concerns to my mother, middle-aged, Asian and also flat-chested.

"Mom, my boobs don't grow but the rest of my body does. If this keeps up, I'll be concave by the time I'm twenty."

"Nonsense! Asian women just petite. Nothing grow too big and crazy like white and black women. We are petite, that is all."