Double Take: A Closer Look at Transracial Adoptees
By Jaeah Joanna Lee

Imagine yourself walking down Fifth Avenue. It’s the holiday season and herds of festive shoppers swarm the slightly frosted sidewalks. As you approach F.A.O. Schwartz you catch a glance at a merry family of three coming up on your left: Caucasian parents hand-in-hand with a little Asian girl. As you stand with your arms around your racially homogenous siblings, what crosses your mind? Most of you probably already know or have already seen one Asian kid whose parents have different colored skin. For some of you, in fact, this mixture may appear awkward. What you may not know is that the curiosity shows in your expression and often spotted by the family standing across from you. Wonder how they feel?

Over the years, transracial adoptees (or those who have been adopted by parents of a different race) have developed a culture of their own. By “race”, I mean that this community deals with issues unique to their brand of cultural identification. Teens, regardless of race face the identity puzzle and spend many adolescent years trying to solve it. For transracially adopted children, there is a third dimension of the identity puzzle. This inner-conflict can unfold as early as when they learn the definition of “different” and what it means to be different. For one transracial adoptee, Dottie Enrico, her first lesson in being different was the first day of Kindergarten. Dottie and her younger brother, similar to thousands of other adopted children, were adopted by a Caucasian-American family as infants.

As Dottie and her brother waited for their bus, a busload of children passed, hanging out the window, pointing and yelling, ‘Chinese cherries! Look at the Chinese cherries!’ Several boys pulled the corners of their eyes toward their temples to form ‘Chink-eyes.’ They yelled , “What’s in your lunch boxes… chop suey?” Though Dottie and her brother were not Chinese (they were Korean), and felt Caucasian, they sensed they were different as the target of the pointing fingers.

For Dottie and other transracial adoptees, this is their first collision a conflicting identity. Suddenly, life isn’t a sugarcoated fairytale anymore. Regardless of how much their parents may have sheltered them from the fact that they are physically different, all the efforts shatter with one harsh joke. For transracial adoptees, their physical appearance becomes their biggest point of confusion. Forget Asian pride. Until that moment, children like Dottie had looked in the mirror, and saw themselves as a reflection of their parents. In Dottie’s case, she saw herself as a blonde-haired, big and blue-eyed reflection.

In their initial confrontation to their biological identities, transracial adoptees begin to question their past. They ask questions that try to resolve the difference between their physical appearance and their adopted cultural identification: “Why do I look different from my parents?” Adoptees often confront feelings of alienation and vulnerability after a lifetime of being singled out or ridiculed for being different. Feeling loved and embraced when everyone isolates you is like trying to make yourself at home in a cold cardboard box . They begin to believe the taunts. They create a self-image derived from the nasty comments, like “freak of nature” and “ugly.” They may even begin to hate themselves because of the hate they endure in their community.

Unfortunately, the same struggle arises when there is too much positive attention. Carrie Howard, mother of an adopted Chinese daughter, Tessa, must prepare herself before going out in public to deal with Tessa’s “hordes of admirers.” Even when the comments are friendly, excessive attention singles out the adopted child from her family, thereby reinforcing her difference from her family. Carrie speaks of how she is especially bothered when strangers call Tessa “a little China doll,” as though she were a fragile piece of chinoiserie. Children in the same boat (no pun intended) as Tessa must consequently deal with racial stereotypes that further emphasize the contrast between the physical attributes of the adopted children and their cultural identity of their families.

As transracial adoptees encounter adolescence, more challenges turn life a bumpier ride. They understand more of their surroundings and become more aware of the difference between their families and themselves . However, as with all adolescence, adoptees crash into a second wave of “Who am I?” While, adoptees are more familiar with their families, history, and culture, there lingers the question of their identity beneath the Western last name: the identity behind those slanted eyes. And while it is always an option to avoid the question, the answer probably won’t reveal itself.

As awareness of their differences solidifies, transracially adopted kids may also place a painful burden on their relationship with their parents and the rest of the family. Feeling lost and grief, and even frustration, they may begin to develop resentment toward the parents who adopted them. Even if their adopted parents gave them a life filled with love, adoptees may feel that they can not truly be loved because they are not blood-related. As curious as they might be about their biological identity, they are equally afraid and frustrated by this increasingly complex identity puzzle. The puzzle may be temporarily set aside and buried under other priorities, like school, friends, and jobs.

As the adoptees mature, some may feel comfortable enough to confront and acquaint with their biological ethnicity. They will go on to explore their culture and begin to appreciate their origins. Check out the numerous camps established for transracial adoptess, particularly for Korean adoptees. They may even come to terms with the fact that they were once separated from their original surroundings and families. In doing so, they begin to appreciate their life and accept their differences from their families. Their definition of difference has changed.

Not all adoptees live a life overflowing with dramatic burdens and hardships. They are not a marked race: you probably would never even guess that someone is adopted until they reveal it to you.

Transracial adoptions have evolved much from the 1950’s when mostly Korean girls were adopted into white families. Adoptive families have passed on many lessons in coping with transracial adoption identity issues. Adoptive parents now have more resources to guide them with raising a transracially adopted child. There are books to articles, from therapists to the Internet. Despite the change in how communities accept and perceive transracial adoptees, the obstacles that transracial adoptees should not be overlooked. As liberal as today’s society is said to have become, it still has a long ways to travel before creating an accepting environment for adoptees like Dottie or Tessa. Just remember: that sweet little Asian girl you’ve seen in front of F.A.O. Schwartz, she is one tough cookie.