Advice: The Art of Persuasion
by Benton Lee, Columnist (with help from David Chan)

For the single people out there, which I must say is the majority of people in NYU, who the hell has time to chase after girls? So listen to mommy and daddy: "you are too young, you must study hard, make money, get a good job, and then you can look for a husband/wife." One thing is for sure: this creates a dilemma. One part of the brain says, "wait and just do well in school; avoid distractions;" the other part says "GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS." Well, why not do both?

In a way, the balancing of the two creates a synergy that might enhance your life as a whole. (If you have read this far, you must be saying, "What the hell is his point?")

Let's see where to start…how about meeting the opposite sex first.

I apologize to female readers but since I am a guy, I am not going to pretend to know where to pick up other guys. Besides, if I did know, do you think my advice would really apply?

So guys listen up. What kind of girls are you into? (The following list includes but is not limited to all the types of girls out there.)

Party girls - lots of make-up, dances well, hits the bars every other weekend

Christian girls - conservative (enough said)

Slutty girls - just skanky

Smart girls - they will never cease to amaze you and/or shut up

Any girl - (my favorite)

* Disclaimer - all girls are different and "special" in their own way, and some may fall into more than one category. I knew this one girl… well, let's not get too personal.

Now you know what kind of girl you want? Next question is: will that kind of girl want you?

Here is the secret. (Sounds cheesy but true) IF YOU DO NOT LOVE YOURSELF, WHY SHOULD ANYONE ELSE? In layman's terms, confidence is key. You could be ugly, well maybe not really ugly, but you can be ugly and still get the girl of your dreams. Note: This is in no way a guarantee that you will get the girl of your dreams…but it'll get you started.

Be funny, confident, and don't think your poop stinks. Don't be arrogant, condescending, or a dick; and definitely do not be shy, quiet, or boring. Granted these are good personality attributes to have but if you do not have an outgoing personality, you'll need to work on it!!! It is a skill you will need in life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. (OH NO…you know my writing sucks when I have to use clichÈs created over 200 years ago)

Here's a tip: Girls LOVE to talk about themselves but sometimes they are a bit shy. At those times, you'll need to step up your game. Do a little storytelling but not some boring shit like, "I'm from blah blah blah." It's been done to death and chances are this girl isn't even going to care. Tell her about the time you and your best friend almost set your house on fire. However, I find the best things to disclose are much more recent events. Tell the lady about current events in your life, and how you're feeling, provided that this info will be easily understood. Don't go delving into your batch of dysfunctional family stories that just might scare the little hunnie away.

So anyway, if you are wondering why I listed the types of girls before, it is to make you stay tuned for more of my insight in our next issue. (This is one of those teasers that tell you something you probably already know - like be confident - and that the real information you are looking for is actually in the next issue. Sorry.)