Hall of Infamy: Past AAF Officers
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Kathy (Secretary/Webmistress/Dictatrix, Class of 2005) |
| School: Gallatin | |
| "Major": Literature & Society | |
| Bio: Once said to have conquered a vast stretch of rural Australia through sheer brutal force, she now enjoys Alexandre Dumas romances and aimless walks through violent thunderstorms. Hopes to someday own a python.
Last seen: New York |
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Sonia (Treasurer/VP, Class of 2006) |
| School: CAS | |
| Major: Anthropology / Linguistics | |
| Bio: After ten years of incarceration for starting a small war while impersonating a French ambassador, Sonia still retains the unquestioning loyalty of an internationally feared, highly-trained army of ninja guinea pigs. Their current whereabouts remain unknown.
Last seen: Upstate |
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Jan (Secretary, Class of 2007) |
| School: CAS | |
| Major: Philosophy? Politics? something like that. | |
| Bio: Did you know that all you really need to get into the most sensitive and highly-restricted areas in the United States is a white lab coat, a clipboard and a sharpened pencil? No? Oh. He does, but...well, nevermind. Go about your business. Last seen: Sweden. No, seriously. |
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Brian (President, Class of 2004) |
| School: CAS | |
| Major: Philosophy / Politics | |
| Bio: So the story goes, a lazy-eyed walrus has been following him for three years now, seeking revenge for some unknowable crime. And when it catches up to him...well, you can guess from there.
Last Seen: California |
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Tara (VP, Class of 2004) |
| School: CAS | |
| Major: Pre-Med / Sociology | |
| Bio: So she was like "NO WAY." And he was all, "WAY. You could totally tell." So she says "Like, for real?" And he's just like, "For REAL. Saw it myself." So she's still all, "Like, are you totally serious?" And he looks her dead in the eye and says: "Listen. If that wasn't a human spinal cord I'll, like, chew my fucking tongue out. Totally."
Last Seen: North Carolina |
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Rita (Treasurer / Dictator-for-Life, Class of 2003) |
| School: Gallatin | |
| "Major": "....um, i think, oh shit, let me look it up." | |
| Bio: Author of the highly-anticipated book How to Take Over a Small Latin American Country, Rita is said to take all of her own advice except putting the heads of enemies on wooden or metal stakes on one's lawn (damned board of residents). Most of the other stories about her are at least to some extent true, but we're not saying which ones.
Last seen: Puerto Rico |
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Chris (Treasurer, Class of 2003) |
| School: CAS | |
| Major: Latin American Studies | |
| Bio: Due to a space/time anomaly, Chris was personally responsible for the invention of the metric measuring system, the spread of the Bubonic Plague through Europe and the introduction of leisure suits in the 1970's. He has yet to be apprehended for any of these crimes and we fear to see what he'll be doing next.
Last Seen: Miami / U Miami |
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Gleb (President, Class of 2002) |
| School: CAS | |
| Major: History | |
| Bio: Insisted that those ugly storefront displays of stuffed TeleTubbies were just ASKING for it, but skipped the country anyway, just to be safe.
Last Seen: Cambridge (MA) / Haaaahvad |
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Corey, (Webmonkey, Class of 2002) |
| School: CAS | |
| Major: Math | |
| Bio: Did it all for love, not the money or the midgets. At least, that was the story to the judge. In the end, there was no trace of any of 'em.
Last Seen: Philadelphia / UPenn |
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Jack (VP / President, Class of 2000) |
| School: GSAS | |
| Major: Physics | |
| Bio: Jack has been known to abduct space aliens and ask them about their religions.
Last seen: Invisible, but watching. |
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Charlie (AAF Founder / President, Class of Back-in-the-Day) |
| School: ??? | |
| Major: ??? | |
| Bio: According to legend, founded AAF for free grocery money. His secret lair is said to be a cross between the Batcave and the Playboy Mansion, but we're not entirely sure what aspects of which made it in.
Location unknown. |
