Only
Luna Tarlo and her son can know whether her story is an accurate rendering.
But she does trace a topography of seduction and betrayal described by
many American disciples of gurus. Something happens to that venerable,
ancient tradition of teacher and seeker when it hits our shores.
It mutates. There’s simply too intoxicating a liquor of freedom and
power here to keep it intact.
A while back, when I
decided to write about this topic, we were a country mesmerized and deeply
baffled by Heaven’s Gate. In that tragedy we heard the eerie echoes
of Waco, and of the massacre of Jim Jones’ 900 devotees who drank grape
punch laced with cyanide.
Each
of these stories is a message from a bottle forged in the heart of America.
It may not be our gurus who are ultimately at fault, but the alchemy our
society works on them. Our primal themes have always been writ large:
God, freedom, power, possibility—from sea to shining sea. We were
founded by bands of the persecuted in search of religious freedom.
“Spirituality in America has always consisted of large and small groups
of spiritual communities permitted to live side by side,” explains Eugene
Taylor, Ph.D. “That freedom is protected by the constitution and unprecedented
in the history of any other culture.”
But
freedom has its discontents, and dangers, because we also free up the devil,
and paradoxically, we free up our need for boundary and authority.
“Who are we now that we’re free?” asks Mark Edmundson, professor of English
at Virginia University and author of Nightmare on Main Street (Harvard
University Press). “Angels perhaps, but maybe sadists, too. As a culture
we’ve become nearly as obsessed by angels as by Gothic images of the serial
killer. In fact, one often creates the need for the other.”
No doubt about it, we’ve found both in our religious gurus.
One
of the deeper ironies of a life committed to a spiritual teacher is that,
though you may flee ten thousand attachments, you end up surrendering your
entire existence to a single man or woman. In the most extreme cases,
that surrender leads to absolute powerlessness and death. “There
isn’t any power more absolute than the power of a `spiritually enlightened’
human being over his disciples,” points out Joel Kramer, co-author with
his wife, Diana Alstad, of The Guru Papers. “That is as absolute
as you can get on a psychological level.” To Kramer and Alstad, gurus preach
freedom but wear the mask of authoritarian power. “Gurus are actually
a metaphor,” says Kramer, “for any human being or system that establishes
itself as fundamentally unchallengeable, presuming to know what’s best
for others. And that kind of authoritarianism is everywhere in our
society.”
Yet
if gurus are contradictory straw men dancing to our own epic tale of good
and evil, freedom and punishment, selfishness and surrender, it’s because
we are contradictory, too. As Eugene Taylor puts it: “The power,
danger and possibility of gurus lies in our projection. A simple human
being can inspire you to spiritual ecstasy because of what you believe
him to be. Or you can end up totally bamboozled.” We have met the
guru, and he is us. Just who is that, anyway?
“It’s
you and me,” says New York psychotherapist Daniel Shaw, CSW. “It’s
anybody who has ever been vulnerable, lonely and searching. For me, following
a guru was a way of relieving all my depression and emptiness.”
For
twelve years Shaw was an ardent disciple of Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, a
beautiful Indian woman who inherited the spiritual path called Siddha Yoga
(SYDA) from her guru, Swami Muktananda Paramahamsa. (Most gurus are
crowned by the lineage they lay claim to. It’s a rare one who springs
full blown out of nowhere.)
In
1981, when Shaw joined SYDA, he was a struggling New York actor.
“I was so enraged at my failure to achieve what I had wanted. I ended
up trying to annihilate all that I had been, devalue everything and everyone,
take a new spiritual name and identity. My own grandiosity was stimulated,”
he admits. “The idea that I could be the pure, devoted servant of
a great master was very intoxicating.” In addition, he had a sudden
fully-formed, ‘loving’ community. As Alstad and Kramer note, “Community
is very hard to get in this world, and it’s a powerful enticement to followers.”
SYDA’s
claim to spiritual fame is an ecstatic state known as “shaktipat”, a cosmic
body orgasm that one experiences after connecting with the guru. Shaw remembers
“a crescendo of sensation that goes from your toes to your head again and
again in waves. It provided a kind of addictive substance, a kind
of heroin, that seemed to completely allay all anxiety.” Shaktipat
is not unique to SYDA—countless spiritual traditions acknowledge and honor
ecstatic awakening. Perhaps its most striking image is Michelangelo’s
statue of Saint Theresa, stabbed through the heart by an angel and collapsing
in his arms in agonized bliss.
For
Shaw, the experience of shaktipat “was magical proof “ of his guru’s power,
and thus began a twelve-year and somewhat tortured apprenticeship.
“Now I view what I went through as a dissociative phenomenon. In
my private life I was depressed, exhausted, and quite unwell most of the
time. But when I was at SYDA I literally put on a happy face.”
He managed to overlook the scandals that have marked SYDA’s history like
gunshots on window glass. First of all, Baba was widely rumored to be a
pedophile, initiating young girls in sex—apparently choosing them from
a six-bed dormitory called the Princess Dorm. One woman reported
that the guru inserted his penis inside her, without an erection or ejaculation,
and remained that way for an hour and a half, joking and talking, while
she lay in a state of ecstasy.
But
the scandals did not end with Baba’s death. In 1982, shortly before
he died, he appointed a brother and sister (whom he had raised) as his
successors.. Both were children of an admirer of the swami’s.
Within three years the sister, Gurumayi, took control of the organization,
and in 1985 announced that her brother, Swami Nityananda, was stepping
down. Nityananda, told The New Yorker magazine that before being forced
out his sister ordered him to be caned for three hours by four women followers
with whom he’d had consensual sex. Gurumayi, in later reports, said
the cane was a small walking stick, and that he was only slapped with it
a few times.
Other
rumors have followed in the wake of that disruption—ex-devotees point out
that Gurumayi has had her cheekbones, chin and nose enhanced by plastic
surgery; that although she claimed celibacy, she’d had a love affair with
George Afif, an upper echelon SYDA member; and that she issued a 1990 edict
to fire all gay and lesbian yoga teachers at SYDA ashrams around the country.
One former follower says that when he tearfully questioned Gurumayi about
her ouster of her brother, she walked away, and that evening publicly announced
that she was offering a new course in “delusion” in honor of the questioner.
If
the response sounds defensive and hostile, it may well be. According
to British psychiatrist Anthony Storr, author of Feet of Clay: Saints,
Sinners and Madmen (Free Press), even though gurus may feel divinely inspired,
“they are not as certain as they look. They need disciples to help
them believe in their own revelations. Gurus tend to be intolerant of any
kind of criticism, believing that anything less than total agreement is
equivalent to hostility.” In fact, says Storr, many gurus are frankly
delusional, “yet function very well as long as they have people who believe
in them.” Storr cites the intricate, many-tiered cosmologies of gurus
such as Georgei Ivanovitch Gurdjieff or Rudolf Steiner. “Gurdjieff
stated that he’d invented a way to increase the visibility of the planets
and the sun. Steiner invented his own history of the universe.”
These men, and other gurus, says Storr, were narcissistic, isolated, arrogant
and even delusional, but they did not suffer from thought disorders or
actual psychosis—buffered as they were by adoring disciples. When
Amrit Desai, the now dishonored “guru” of the international holistic facility
called Kripalu (see boxed item), was questioned about a new policy of silence
at all meals, a poster went up in the dining room: “Never wound the heart
of the guru.” Most disciples signed their names to it.
It
sounds as if these gurus are half-mad, and maybe they are. When Storr examined
the lives of ten gurus, he found that each had suffered a dark night of
the soul, an episode akin to a manic-depressive or psychotic illness, which
ultimately seemed to resolve in revelations and religious insights.
Take David Koresh: Storr notes that at 19, a 16-year-old girlfriend got
pregnant but refused to live with him. “He began to suffer from mood
swings of pathological intensity, sometimes believing himself to be uniquely
evil, sometimes thinking that he was especially favored by God.” Yet gurus
are not actually insane, says Storr. “They are narcissistic, isolated,
and arrogant; but they do not suffer from thought disorders.”
Kramer
and Alstad note that gurus are deprived of real intimacy, and thus try
to fill the need for closeness with more and more followers. “The
role of guru is a gradual entrapment. Power is seductive, and they
don’t realize what they’ll be giving up—humanity, a normal life of horizontal
rather than vertical relationships. When people succumb to the temptation
to be a guru, they are often destroyed as human beings.”
As for the loving disciples,
they reach out for certainty and transcendental meaning, but are asked
to give unconditional love and selfless surrender in return. “That
kind of idealism doesn’t leave room for the needs of the self,” says Alstad.
“The guru blocks feedback. You need a way for dealing with issues
of power, control, and self-centeredness, all of which arise in long-term
relationships, after the romantic phase.” The disciple cannot surrender
his human needs forever. Neither can the guru live up to his presumed
divinity. Luna Tarlo echoes this in her own experience: “My
son must be living under terrible tension,” she says sadly. “He has
to maintain that he’s enlightened and living in paradise all the time.
I don’t know what happens when he goes to bed at night.”
The
guru-disciple relationship is by nature unhealthy, believes psychologist
Rachel Brier, who has worked with over a dozen former devotees of Kripalu’s
Gurudev. “When a relationship is based on the idealization of one
and the submission of another, the system invites abuse. Disciples
believe that the guru is Godlike, and the disciple is lost without the
wisdom, knowledge and love of the guru. It is an emotionally fused
relationship in which each needs the other to exist. There are no
healthy boundaries, no checks and balances, no real ‘other.’”
Yet
religious teachers and their disciples are as old as recorded history.
That relationship has long been regarded as a sacred and yet pragmatic
path to God. And it can be, says Eugene Taylor. “Let’s not
attack the idea of a spiritual mentor before we understand that the definition
is culture specific. Americans interested in Tibetan Buddhism fall
all over themselves to meet the Dalai Lama, while Tibetans can’t understand
why we’d want to meet him at all. They feel he’s too busy, and it’s
enough to have his picture. In Bengali tantrism, the idea of using
sexuality as a vehicle for spiritual attainment is common, but that idea
is almost incomprehensible to most Americans. And take the idea of kissing
a guru’s feet—in India this is common, but in America it gives us a completely
different impression. What a religious scholar might see as Hindu
devotionalism looks to a typical American like guru worship.”
John
Perkins, founder of Dream Change Coalition and author of Shape Shifting
(Inner Traditions) agrees. He is working to preserve the rainforest,
and has befriended many Peruvian shamans. “In their native cultures, they
are looked at as ordinary people who happen to heal others. They
milk cows, plant corn, and perform healings. I have the highest regard
for these shamans, I’ve gone to live with them, but they’re infinitely
human. They get sick, they have personal problems, they live in a
very poor part of the world.”
But when a shaman comes
to America, says Perkins, he’s often idolized as a saint and guru. “To
come from a culture where they are respected but not revered, and to be
suddenly idolized is difficult for them. A lot of women throw themselves
at these men sexually. And because shamans tend to consider sex as
an ecstatic experience that opens the door to other realities, it’s a very
confusing issue.”
For
Americans in particular, the guru is an irreducible paradox. Here in the
land of religious freedom, he’s an inevitable figure. How can we
curtail his freedom, whether he’s dreaming up nightly bacchanals or unthinkable
penance for his flock? “We are the only culture that has enshrined
within its legal system the expression of religious freedom in any form,”
notes Taylor. “We believe in the idea that the small sect can live
and thrive next to the large sect.” Even when that tiny sect is in
Waco, Texas or Rancho Santa Fe, California, we are reluctant to intervene—often
until it’s too late.
And yet, as Michael Murphy
says: “This is one of the glories of America, this freedom.”
I’ve
never followed a guru. But, like a curious and slightly bedazzled
tourist, I’ve stood at the periphery of the pack. I’ve invited shamans
into my home, trekked with them up mountains, and listened with suspended
disbelief as they told me about myself, the universe, and God. But
I always shook myself out of the dream and went on my way alone, under
the authority of nobody. An American in her sect of one. Wandering
through what Mark Edmundson wryly calls our “spiritual lazy Susan”, in
search of transcendence, as Americans are wont to do.
As most of us are wont to do. Sociobiologist Edward O. Wilson long
ago said that the impulse to believe in God is “the most complex and powerful
force in the human mind…[and] an ineradicable part of human nature.”
When we funnel that force down to the very narrow opening of a single religious
teacher, we rebel against the very freedom we fought for from the start.
But eventually, most of us wander free again. Like the mother of
God. Luna Tarlo says she has given up the possibility of enlightenment;
in its place has come religion with a small “r”. “One has these moments
of religious feeling,” she says. “Sometimes I go birdwatching and
look at the variety and beauty of these wonderful creatures, and whatever
created us, and a sense of awe brings tears to my eyes. How can any
of us presume to rise above it? I don’t know where we come from.
I don’t think we ever can know.”
HOLY MADNESS: A TALE
OF A PSYCHIATRIST AND HIS GURU
Dennis Gersten is a psychiatrist
in private practice in San Diego, and author of Are You Getting Enlightened
Or Losing Your Mind? (Harmony Books). Here follows a letter he wrote
me about his transformative experience with a guru named Sai Baba.
On reading this letter, I thought to myself, “Yes he’s probably lost his
mind, but maybe he’s a little enlightened, too.” Whether or not what
Dr. Gersten describes is objectively true, his 20-year history with a guru
has been deeply beneficial to him personally and as a psychiatrist.
Here is all the passion of the devotee and true believer, but one gets
the feeling that even if he discovered Sai Baba were a fake, Dr. Gersten
would go on believing in divine grace.
Dec. 9, 1997
Dear Jill,
I’ve
thought about your questions and decided to go all out, 100% truth.
Many people will think I am crazy for what I am about to say. It’s
so controversial that Harmony Books deleted it.
I
entered psychiatry residency after four grueling years of medical school,
and began my residency at the La Jolla Veterans Administration Hospital
at the University of California at San Diego. Within the first month
a nurse named Madeleine approached me, and gave me a photograph of an Indian
holy man with a big afro and an orange robe. "You're a spiritual
person, and I think you should have this picture. His name is Sai Baba."
That was all she said. I kept the photo, but had no interest at all
in Sai Baba.
During
my second year, I contacted a San Diego psychiatrist, Dr. Samuel
Sandweiss and asked if
he would supervise me. Dr. Sandweiss is a devotee of Sai Baba. For
two years we met and he told me stories of this man of miracles. The miracle
stories shook my very foundation of reality.
Sometimes I thought that Dr. Sandweiss was himself out of his mind, for
as a budding psychiatrist with one year of psychiatric training behind
me, Dr. Sandweiss seemed to fit the description of a paranoid schizophrenic.
Except for a couple of major discrepancies. He was and is one of
the happiest and most well-adjusted people I've ever met; friendly, intelligent,
sociable; stable family with a loving wife and 4 daughters
When
I finished my residency, I traveled with Sam and a third psychiatrist
to India to see Sai Baba. I simply wanted to know if Sai Baba really did
all those miraculous things I had heard so much about. Baba made
my head spin. He deluged me with so many miracles that after 4 days I couldn't
take any more and left on the 5th day. During that brief visit I
observed and experienced Sai Baba manifesting material objects out of thin
air. He manifests sacred ash, called "vibhuti" more than any other
object, for ash is considered to be sacred, as it can not be further reduced.
I also witnessed rings, medallions, even candy being materialized with
a wave of his hand. If you think this was sleight of hand, let me
say that Sai Baba even materialized a 3-foot high gold broach for his pet
elephant. During the closing moments of that first trip, I was called in
for a personal interview. Sai Baba knew everything about me.
Now, I'm obviously interested in things that most doctors and psychiatrist
shy away from. But Sai Baba was no psychic. He wasn't just 90 or
95% accurate. He knew everything. It was as if he had lived inside
my head every moment of my life..
But
we've just scratched the surface. There is no miracle known to humankind
that Sai Baba has not performed. I personally know two people who
had a loved one resurrected from the dead. The most astounding was
a woman whose husband died while at the ashram. She refused to let
anyone take the body for cremation. She told people, "Baba said he
would come help him." For five days, her friends argued with her,
thinking she’d lost her mind. Five days after the man's death, Sai
Baba came to the room where husband and wife had been staying. The
room wreaked with the odor of the decaying body. Half an hour later
Sai Baba walked out of the room with the resurrected man . . . arm in arm,
cheerfully greeting the wife.
Isaac
Tigrett, founder of The Hard Rock Cafe and The House of Blues is a
devotee of Sai Baba.
In Isaac's younger days, he says, he was sailing around the curves of the
Malibu hills in his sports car when it flew over the cliff. Immediately,
Sai Baba appeared in the car, held his arms around Isaac and protected
him completely. The car lay demolished at the bottom of the cliff
with the waves pouring over it. Isaac was unharmed.
These
stories are jarring to the average American, but more so to the average
psychiatrist. "Magical thinking" they call this stuff. Yet,
if one dares to explore what I have said, and what 100 million others have
personally experienced, then we are faced with more than a challenge for
the theories of modern psychiatry. Psychiatry is a speck of dust
compared to the infinite mystery of God.
I
don’t not care if you believe it or not, for I have no interest in convincing
anyone of anything. Sai Baba says, "I am God and you are God.
The only difference is that I know it and you don't.” And so, yes, this
psychiatrist is saying that, after his puny, Western, medical, psychiatric
ego had been sufficiently deflated, that he, that I, know that God is actually
on earth, walking, talking. Is Sai Baba my guru? We, in the West,
have a very hard time with the idea of a real guru. We’re tough-minded,
rugged individualists, and nobody’s going to mess with our individuality.
Surrendering to Sai Baba has been a tough lesson.
How
has this transformed my practice? Because I have witnessed and directly
heard about so many miracles, I now expect miracles. I know that
my patients can have a miracle, and it is my job to create the atmosphere
in which a miracle can occur. The mere belief in miracles is like
a fertilized garden, ready to sprout with new flowers. I now know
that deep change need not take 8 to 15 years of psychoanalysis, four times
a week. Deep change can be instantaneous, and that is a miracle.
But there are "real" miracles that I have been part of in my clinical work.
Frankly, when I am part of the miraculous, I stand in awe. Carmen, an acquaintance,
came to me for help after being diagnosed with lung cancer.
I
gave Carmen the works: meditation, mental imagery techniques to assist
in healing, a variety of nutritional supplements that boost the immune
system and fight cancer, and some lingham water. A lingham is an
egg-shaped stone. Sai Baba has materialized countless numbers of
these. He materialized one for a friend of mine and told her, "This is
for healing purposes. I will send you patients." Sharon returned
to America and made bottles of water prepared with the lingham.
Carmen's
entire right lung was filled with cancer. She was preparing for surgery.
I didn't hear from her for several weeks. Then came the call. "Dennis,
you just won't believe this. Then again, you probably will.
I had the surgery. They opened my chest and discovered that the cancer
had spread into the left lung and was wrapped around the big blood vessels.
They closed me up and sent me home to die. Well, I was meditating one morning,
and suddenly Sai Baba appeared in front of me. My eyes were closed,
but I saw him, and he was reaching inside my body, pulling cancer out.
All day long I felt this hand reaching inside me pulling the cancer out.
They gave me one radiation treatment. And you know what. The
cancer has shrunk by 75%." Six months later Carmen walked into my office
and said, "Dennis, I am 100% cancer free.”
Before
each session with a patient, I now say a silent prayer for guidance in
working with the next person. I imagine my guru, Sathya Sai Baba,
in the office with me. When I am stuck, I will silently ask Baba
for advice. Part of my spiritual practice is to look for the spark
of God in every person, including the craziest of my patients. Sometimes
this can be quite a challenge, but I’ve learned to find wisdom in the midst
of insanity, divinity amidst the darkest depressions or psychotic episodes.
This
is the psychiatry of the future, a psychiatry of love, hope, faith, and
miracles; a psychiatry that heals and uplifts, that sees the pain as part
of the spiritual journey, that knows that spiritual ecstasy is real, and
that God exists. A psychiatry that dares to bring God into the office,
that dares to offer miracles, that considers Prozac the last choice and
not the first.