9/11 ESSAY

Ring.  Ring. 
They’re gone!  They’re gone! 
Turn on your television.  The World Trade Center they’re not there. 
I rose from my bed to open my eyes.  I turned on the television.  Has the woman I’ve been speaking to long distance every evening lost it?  She is the strongest most intelligent woman I have ever met.  What the hell could drive her to this point?  Did someone do something to her?  Don’t tell me I have to get ghetto.  As the television tuned all I saw was smoke.
What the hell is this?  I said        
My mom, I can’t get in contact with my mom!  They’re bombing all
government facilities, and she works across the street from the White
House.  I do not want anything to happen to my mom.
As I listened in awe, not fully grasping what I was being told, I
turned the television to get a deeper understanding of what the hell was going on.  The next channel I turned to also had smoke.  What happened that could be catastrophic enough to show on all channels.  As I listened to the news reporter explain the chain of events that just occurred , the woman I look to for love, and see as a symbolism of
strength, independence, and self righteousness told me the sequence of events that led to this moment.
Terrorists hijacked five possibly six airplanes.  Two airplanes crashed into the World Trade Centers.  One airplane crashed into the Pentagon, and another plane crashed into the ground.  Its presumed target was the White House.  Supposedly, there are two airplanes that are still in the air they cannot contact.  The government is assuming that the other two planes have also been hijacked, but there is no verification on that.  Everything she just told me the reporter said in sync with her. I went numb I was unable to visualize the events. Who?  Why?  Are Towanda’s parents all right?      
I tried calling my mother’s cell phone but I can’t get through.  You’re
the only one that I can get through to.  My father works for the
government in Virginia, and I don’t know what’s going on over there
either.  I don’t want anything to happen to my mom.
Your mother is going to be alright.  Everything is crazy now.  The cellular phones do not work, and most of the telephone lines do not work because of the events that just happened.
Wait a minute.  What about my son, and my mother.  I have no idea where they are.  My ex wife Sue Kate was suppose to go to court today. Luckily they decided to settle out of court at the last minute, so she was out of harms way. Has it come to this that unenlightened organizations must displace their anger, and unfulfilled voids upon innocent lives. If they hurt, then other’s must hurt.  I thought that was the immature action of a child. Towanda tried to contact her mother again. At the same time I tried to contact my mother and son, but I could not get through. Towanda called back and said the line was still dead. Why were we able to get in touch with each other? I couldn’t understand it. She told me to click over to the other line and call my mother again. I don’t know what I would do if our line was cut off. I called my mother and son and was able to get through. Thank God they both were in the house and alright. But what about Towanda? Now that I know that my family is alright how can I make sure her family was OK.
        What was I going to do? As I was talking to Towanda I felt my spirit shrinking. I became more self aware with a self worth that was synonymous with insignificance. The sudden envelopment of asphyxiation  and futile human drives to survive. I saw myself as a fly on the wall, minute and unnoticed to the world. To what extent were these terrorists actions suppose to be taken? Is this it?

        The news reported the police pulled over a truck filled with explosives in front of the George Washington Bridge. My God! How vulnerable are we? Wait a minute  I remember sometime last year the police arrested three Afghanistan families in Brooklyn.  The report was, each family lived in basement apartment buildings that connect to each other. Each buildings basement had a hole boar through the wall to connect it the next building.  The reason the police responded to the premises was due to a noise complaint. When the police responded they noticed the family was acting suspicious. Upon further investigation they confiscated numerous weaponry. They had the type of weaponry they only show in Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. After an extensive investigation they arrested three families for weapons possession. For what purpose did they have the weapons? Maybe they were part of the terrorists plot. Imagine how far it could have gone. What if they had annihilated most of the Pentagon, and destroyed the White House? Who would we turn to for leadership? We know the masses without leadership are susceptible to anarchy. What if all of the bridges and tunnels were bombed? There are approximately six that allow you to go in and out of Manhattan. What if everyone was stuck in Manhattan? The only way out is going up to the Bronx upstate. Is there a bigger picture that we are not looking at? Are not most families from Afghanistan aware of the Al Queda and Taliban beliefs?  Wasn’t this something that was expected to happen?  The Middle Eastern population is three times the amount of the population of the United States.  Damn!  Maybe that is why I see so many Middle Eastern families in New York.  The best way to conquer your enemies is to get to know them.  Infiltrate them from within much like the Trojan Horse.  Maybe the fucking Habeeb (derogatory) taxi driver that bypassed me for a white face is part of it.  There are so many of them.  Why do I have this unjust anger towards all people who have Middle Eastern looks?  Most of America feels this way about black people.  Automatically categorizing blacks as thieving, drug dealing, crack addicted, no-good pieces of shit.  I know this is untrue.  So why do I feel this invalidated prejudice toward people with a Middle Easterner look?  I know sieks who undoubtedly stand out from other Middle Easterners do no have these militant extremists’ beliefs.  I remember someone saying that racism stems from insecurity.  I have pondered since 9/11 on these words.  Do they hold any truth?  I use to say the only things I fear in this life are God and my mother.  That does not hold true any more.  Am I insecure about the events that happened on 9/11?  Your damn right I am! We must adhere to non-violence in order to attain freedom and social equality. The belief that one can achieve mass social acceptance through anarchy is committing a self injustice. Today, I constantly ask myself, why the Taliban regime did not try to find a more civil and non-violent means for their campaign? Have there ever been terrorists who have attained their wants and needs through terrorism? Once all forms of socially acceptable means have been exhausted, and then they took direct action would they be as hated as they are now? Unfortunately, their goals are not for the sake of pluralism, or egalitarianism. It is to put another form of suppression into place. A form of suppression that can be compared to the days of the inquisition. However socially unacceptable the Talibans' beliefs are, they could have waged an all out non-violent campaign to achieve their goals. If their was a notion of failure, they then had could have used a form of non-violent tension. This in turn would have forced their opposition to realize there was a problem.

If there was not some type if mediation to help meet both sides half way, then there would be some form of irreprehensible consequences. But, as we have learned in Machiavelli's "The Prince" the means to an end is not etched in stone. Who is to say that if all of the Taliban's destructive plans were carried out that their goals would not have been achieved. Thank god I am able to say we will never know.Knowing and understanding how unprotected we are as a nation, and realizing that all great governments have come to an end some time or another is numbing. Do I have valid reason to feel the way I do? The way I treat others has not changed. I give people the kind of respect I expect in return. In time my anxieties will pass. I do not know if I am selfish for not wanting a change in government for me and my son. I want nothing but the best for him. Seeing or even thinking of him living in a state of anarchy kills me inside. I believe in the philosophy that it is possible to find peace cultures of peace, but only in the presence of non-violence. I will do everything in my power to make sure this does not happen. Even if it means giving my support to the fullest for the cowboy that we have in the White House despite my objections on certain issues, then so be it. Still, the entire time I am giving and showing my patriotism, I will still be left with the fearful question, when will this great nation of ours come to an end?