THE DIARY OF CLEO THE DREAMER
Since this is my
first entry, I thought it would be best to introduce myself. Hi! My name is
Cleo. I am at a very hard time in my life because I am going through many changes-
both mentally and physically. However, what is perplexing me the most right
now is these dreams that I keep having, but I will talk about that in a little.
It's almost as if
I am going through a mid-life crisis- don't know whether I am coming or going,
if I'm growing older, or feeling younger. Anyhow, I cannot truly be going through
one because I am still way too young. But my point is that I am just confused.
My life outside my
dreams is quite complex, but I think that when it's said that dreams _____ your
real life, that it's quite true. I guess as I mention some of my dreams it will
become clearer. I guess the best thing to do now is to talk a little about these
dreams that I am having. The one's I remember thus far have some commonalties.
For one, they all take place in different places. I know this sounds normal,
but maybe I should be more specific- they take place in different, foreign,
unheard of lands. Secondly, they either take place in other times, meaning hundreds
of years ago, or, I can't even tell what time period it is.
When it comes to
me in these dreams it gets even more strange. I don't look like I do in real
life. Well, I mean, it looks like me in terms of the dark hair, facial features,
etc., but I would never dress like that. The skimpy clothing and this funky
headgear are such a fashion faux pas! The headgear, it took me many of dreams
to figure out its use, is actually pretty cool. In my dreams I am able to just
be a spectator, or if I pull the funny apparatus over my eyes, I can participate.
This way I can be either visible or invisible to the characters in my dreams.
I have to go, but
I will write again soon.
As you know from my past couple
of entries, I have been struggling to understand a few things about myself.
Most importantly I am at a loss for who I really am and where I am heading in
life. By this I mean that basically I don't understand how I came to be where
I am and how I know the things I think that I do. It's like I just woke up with
this crazy life, memories, and mind. However, I had this bizarre dream last
night that's in some retrospects clarified parts of my questions, but
has left me with new ones and wondering how things fit together.
The last thing that I remember
is knowing that I was about to fall asleep and then waking up, so I thought,
in this strange place. (Like that's any different from any of my other dreams!)
It looked like it was straight out of a cartoon. Everything was exaggerated-
colors, spatial depths and objects sizes. Anyhow, the point being is that both
humans and animals surrounded me, but it was quite different from anything I
have experienced before. Firstly, the way in which the people were communicating
with one another, being that they were quite strange and rude, made me realize
that people and things Aaront as they always appear. For my past couple
of experiences have also exemplified this, but the fact that I had the ability
to converse with beings other than humans proved it. This first part of my dream
put me in circumstances in which I began to see how my own judgment fits into
my life. For example, I ended up at a cocktail party in which I was offered
what looked like a piece of cake, but soon realized that it was not simply that.
But this piece of cake changed me in a way that made me see many different sides
of the situation I was in before returning me back to normal. It's strange how
when you're put in a position other than your own, how different it is and how
much you can understand about their perspectives.
The second aspect of my dream
was that the people, or things, that I encountered seemed rather familiar. Not
necessarily in shape and form, but in manner. For example, there was this girl
Alice who was on an adventure of her own and in rather the same position as
me because everything she was experiencing was foreign to her as well. She explained
to me that her journey was practically over, but that the experiences that she
had, had given her insight to becoming an adult. So in actuality, her adventure
had been more of a coming of age one. Where in my case I feel I am lacking so
much, that many things dont make sense, like having this dream. Although
I can handle such experiences, I cannot simplify them to mean one thing at this
I also had an experience with
the ruler of my dreamland and I think that she must have reminded me of a sort
of adult figure in my life. For although she was the ruler, she did not exactly
act as such. In fact, it was quite opposite. It was like she was a child trapped
in an adult body and position, and unable to handle it. As I grew, so I think
throughout my dream, it was as if she was doing the opposite. I guess that the
older and wiser one gets, the more they see those around them as not knowing
as much as they think and in fact not really a figure at all.
It is funny how these dreams of
mine somehow relate to my life, whether directly or indirectly. I mean, I dream
that I am part of a cartoon and have the ability to take part in it by flipping
down my headgear. It could be worse.
I had another dream last night
in which I was being told a story about this man who had claimed that he had
gone on all these strange adventures, but they were simply unbelievable. So
when I fell asleep, in my dream, I was somehow transported to these different
lands in which I met various types of people and things that the man had described.
Everything was based upon the stories of the strange man. What I can remember
went like this:
I woke up and found myself surrounded
by people who coldt have been more than a few inches tall. I think that
they were just as surprised to see me as I was they. Although they were so small,
I found myself unable to move. It appeared they had tied me down with dental
floss. This seems rather strange, but it was true. Anyhow, upon interacting
with these little creatures they decided that I was a threat to them and the
best thing to do would be to kill me. But how could they think that they could
possibly do this? For I could just squash them with my foot if I were to have
the chance. I tried making myself invisible, but because I was tied up I was
I can't remember what happened
next, but before I exited this metropolis, as they called it, I
was posed with a question that would seem rather odd to us, but in the case
of the Lilliputians, seemed to be the basis of their politics. The question
was "at which end should the faithful break their eggs?" What was
so ironic about this question was that it seemed as if the question, if taken
to another level, could be applied to any society. Even the man, who told these
strange stories, from 15th century England, could understand.
I dont remember much more
of this bizarre place, but the next thing that I vividly remember was being
in the opposite situation. I was faced with people a hundred times my size.
I dont feel like getting into the details about this saga, but what interested
me, or scared me the most was imagining if this were to be real. What a difference
this would make in life. What if people of such drastic different sizes had
to live their life together? What would the world be like? Would the larger
people be in charge? What would happen? In this particular saga I was able to
become invisible by flipping up my headgear. This allowed me to reflect on the
situation at hand. What a scary situation this was because it in fact woke me
When I finally fell back to sleep
I must have been thinking about what it would be like to be so different. For
in my next adventure I met a bunch of people who seemed to be physically deformed,
but were otherwise pretty much the same in appearance. This began my thinking
of what it would have been like for me to have been born with something that
made me look and live differently. For I find myself to be very lucky to be
who I am, besides the fact that I have these crazy dreams!
I mean, what would it be like
to be an outsider, different? Or more specifically, what would it be like to
live a life in which you were physically so different? Would you accept it?
Would it be completely normal to you? Who knows.
I must go right now, but I will
most certainly write with my next adventure! I must tell some people about these
dreams because they must mean something to my immediate life. Maybe they are
trying to tell me something. For who dreams about such people and places and
I had a sort of nightmare last night in which I was held hostage by a lady I know very well- my next door neighbor Alex. This lady in real life is very active in society. She's on the board of many organizations, attends all the local town meetings (which she helps run), and is always a very nice person.
However, there is one strange
thing about Alex, and that is that nobody has ever been in her house. From the
outside it looks lovely. Freshly painted, white Victorian manor with lots of
colorful flowers all around. You can't clearly see through the windows because
she has these sheer curtains that distort the contents inside. It's almost as
if you can see the outlines of figures, but you can't really figure out what
Anyhow, my dream started with
me sneaking around the outside of the house. For some reason, I was not wearing
my headgear, which would have been the obvious thing to have when trying not
to be seen. So, of course, I got caught. Alex pulled me in through her back
door and immediately locked it behind me. Upon looking around, I soon realized
that Alex was not the lady she appeared. Her house was spooky- I'll leave it
at that. She sat me down at her kitchen table when she offered me something
to drink. I politely said that I had to leave, but she pulled out a knife and
told me to sit down. So I did.
She began mumbling to me about
how she had to put on an act to the rest of the world because of their injustice
to outsiders. When I asked why she would be considered an outsider, she said
that it was because of her religious beliefs. I tried to relate to her on some
level by telling her the story of my family, how they were persecuted for being
Jewish, by talking about the Holocaust and other historical events. I think
I must have gotten through to her on some level, but not completely. After talking
for hours she eventually let me go. In my dream I never told anyone about what
had happened. In a way, I guess, I felt sorry for her. It became our secret.
However, I did try to talk to
my mom about it in real life without telling her about the dream. She explained
to me a couple of things: in life people are not always as they seem, to always
be weary of others, to accept people for their differences, and most importantly
never deny to yourself who you really are and what you believe.
Yes, it's another dream story,
but instead of going through the story I want to talk about an idea that I have
from it. Basically, I wondered what it would be like to grow-up when there was
a clash between science and society. I know that this still exists today, but
what about when scientific ideas were much more primitive than they are today.
You see, in my dream there was another person who had the ability to make himself
invisible. The only difference was that once he did so, it was permanent. Whereas
with me, I can alternate.
Anyhow, the period when this dream
took place was hundreds of years ago. Therefore, society was very cautious of
certain sciences and they had a lot less knowledge about what was true, not
true, possible, and not possible. For instance, we know that today for sure
to become invisible is impossible. If it were to happen today, would it be more
accepted? I tend to think so since what we have seen today in terms of science's
capabilities would most likely amaze people from that time.
However, I also think that it
might not be accepted. Firstly, who would benefit from such a thing? Would it
be comparable to medications that are only available to the rich because they
can afford it? Secondly, how would it change societies everyday life? I think
that there would be utter chaos. People could see and here things that they
aren't supposed to, get away with things they shouldn't, or much worse. In my
dream the man eventually went crazy. Could that be a possibility?
In any case, it is an interesting
thought. I kind of like the idea because I have somewhat been able to experience
it through my dreams. Just like this one where I followed this invisible man
and he had no idea. But would it be practical, or even legal if possible?
The last dream I had was quite
bizarre. It was about a man who basically had alternate personalities purposely
induced by him. It actually got rather scary in the end because he eventually
committed suicide. However, what really intrigued me was the idea of living
two different lives, so to say, via two alternate personalities.
It sort of reminded me of myself
because I feel that I have my real life and then my dream life, which seems
just as real. I know it's not quite the same, but I wonder what it would be
like to sort of live two lives. If I could choose my second life, what would
it be? Well here is what I've thought of so far:
It would have to be like my present
life accept I would make changes. Since I would be living these lives simultaneously
I cannot really change the place, time, or who I am. This just wouldn't make
sense otherwise. Therefore, the changes that I would make would have to me in
terms of my mind, thus maybe influencing my behavior, personality, appearance,
etc. These are the changes that would differ from my possible alternate life/personality:
1. I would know everything. Since
I am still quite young, I know that I am learning everyday. I wish I could live
my whole life with all this knowledge instead of ending my life just having
achieved it all.
2. I would like to be more creative
3. I would not smoke cigarettes.
4. I wouldn't be as self-conscious.
5. I would be nicer to my mother.
6. I wouldn't be such a procrastinator
7. I would socialize outside my
These are just some to name a
few, but I am sure that if I had the chance I could think of
I have not had any memorable dreams
now for over a month. I'm going to assume that they have ended and that I can
close this section of my life, and diary, and move on. I am going to assume
that all these dreams somehow convey a message to me about my life and life
in general. I feel as though by looking back at them I can give myself a tarot
card reading. It is actually kind of cool. From now on I'm going to reserve
you, this diary, for recording my dreams and designate another for everything
So until next time (dream),