Date: Mon, 27 Mar 95 16:22:13 -0500 From: Usenet Oracle Subject: Usenet Oracularity #719-05 Selected-By: "Joshua R. Poulson" The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > O great Oracle I beg of you to help me with my difficulty. I have been > perusing the ancient text of Homer, 'The Odyssey', and two questions of > beneficial importance have befallen upon me. > Firstly, o great one, please tell me what the crucial qualities of > Odysseus' character are. > Secondly, o heinous wonder, to what extent does Homer seem to approve > of the aforementioned qualities? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Odysseus is widely agreed to be the prototypical male. His adventures } spanning, oh, a whole wack of years, demonstrate the one fundamental } male trait. This trait can be summed up as "Whenever you're lost, } DON'T ask for directions." Wander for years, consult that AAA map (the } one that's been folded and unfolded so many times that it has become an } origami animal with a life of its own) at least once every hour, stare } determinedly ahead at the endless road as if sheer willpower alone will } make the exit for St. Louis magically appear, heck, let a few of your } friends get turned into pigs if you have to, but the LAST thing you } should ever do is stop on the nearest island and say, "Hey, Dmitri, } which is the quickest way out of the Aegean anyway?" } } As for Homer's opinion of these qualities, I think he prefers beer and } donuts myself. But it can't hurt to ask. He's probably over at Moe's } having a brew. } } You owe the Oracle directions back to Indiana University. But don't } tell anyone I asked. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 27 Mar 95 16:22:15 -0500 From: Usenet Oracle Subject: Usenet Oracularity #719-06 Selected-By: dsew@packrat.aml.arizona.edu (David Sewell) The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Although I work for an oracle, sometimes it's the wrong one. > > I am lost! I want to mail to several people that are locked up in the > X400 worl d. How do I do this? For instance, consider the following > adress: > > G=FN S=LName PRMD=OLYMPICS96 ADMD=ATTMAIL C=US > > How on earth do I go about reaching this very dear friend of mine on > mail from norway? > > My own mail connection is through a gateway on the company's WAN, but > all this does, is chucking the messages out on the internet. I have > heard there are gateways out there, but I do not know how to access > them. If you know the answer, please help me with syntax and adresses > to mail her, and also instructions for her on how to mail me back. > > As a return favor, I can help with information on how to mail between > internet and IBM's IBMMAIL network in the closed world of AS400's and > larger blue beasts. And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } You say you work for an oracle and that the WAN just chucks } e-mail out on the Internet? The first thing you need to do } is ask your oracle, "How much e-mail to my girl friend can } your e-mail chucker chuck, if your e-mail chucker could } chuck e-mail?" This will ensure that the system has } sufficient e-mail capacity for your needs. } } You could also post a message to several hundred Usenet user } groups about your problem (say, every one with "mail" or } "computer" in its title. You will be sure to get many } interesting responses. } } Or, JUST SEND HER A #()&^&* LETTER ASKING FOR HER INTERNET } E-MAIL ADDRESS! If she's got one, your e-mail chucker } should chuck it right to her, for chrissake! Or give her a } phone call and ask!! } } You owe the Oracle a grovel (a good one), and 12 suggestions } on how I can get supplicants to think for themselves. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 27 Mar 95 16:22:16 -0500 From: Usenet Oracle Subject: Usenet Oracularity #719-07 Selected-By: rmcgee@wiley.csusb.edu (Rich McGee) The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Can anyone tell me how to acess bulliten boards? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Certainly. I'm absolutely sure *somebody* can tell you. } Oh, you want *me* to tell you? Well, why didn't you say } so in the first place? Take a seat, and do try to be a } little more precise in future. } } There are a couple of different kinds of bulletin board. } They have in common a cork surface, to which notices can } be attached with thumbtacks or push-pins. Thumbtacks are } the time-honored tradition, but the newer push-pins are } easier to remove, and are thus better suited for items } that you expect to take down after a short time. } } Some bulletin boards are publicly accessible - all you } have to do is walk up to them, hold your notice up to the } board, and impale it with one or more tacks. The number } of tacks required depends on the physical size of your } notice: a full sheet of paper requires at least two } tacks, and preferably four (one in each corner). Any } note less than 1/6 of a sheet can be posted with just a } single tack in the middle of the top edge. } } There are other bulletin boards which are kept locked, } with a glass cover over them. The notices on these } "read-only" boards can be observed by anyone, but in } order to post notices, you need building manager access } privileges. This is most often gained by use of a small } device called a "key," with a special access password } encoded on it as a sequence of bumps and dents. The } usual method of getting the key is by making friends } with the building manager, and then simply asking her. } There are other techniques, well known to bulletin } board "crackers," but I'm not going to go into those. } } As a final note, I must mention that it is possible to } write notices directly on the cork surface of a bulletin } board with a pen. However, this is considered to be } very bad form, and I strongly discourage you from doing } it. } } You owe the Oracle a bunch of 3"x4" slips of paper. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 27 Mar 95 16:22:20 -0500 From: Usenet Oracle Subject: Usenet Oracularity #719-09 Selected-By: m-atkinson@nwu.edu The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Your question lacks substance. ------------------------------ End of Usenet Oracularities Digest #719 ***************************************