Frequently Asked Questions About Sexual Assault
I was sexually assaulted: Information For SurvivorsI was recently sexually assaulted. What can I do?A survivor of sexual assault may encounter a bewildering number of choices related to medical services, legal assistance, and counseling/support services. The emotional reactions that may follow a sexual assault often make the decision making process even more complicated. Below please find some information about the medical, legal and counseling or support options available to a survivor of sexual assault. Medical NeedsA survivor of sexual assault can go to the hospital for a forensic examination, rape kit, up to 96 hours after a sexual assault. This will include a collection of evidence. Therefore, when possible, it is best not to shower, wash, douche, eat, or drink. It is also important to bring, in a paper bag, the clothes that were worn at the time of the sexual assault. At the hospital emergency department, a survivor will be assigned an advocate who will stay with them throughout the process and answer any questions. The survivor will then be given a general medical examination, antibiotics and testing for sexually transmitted infections, emergency contraception, and HIV prophylaxis and testing. The exam and rape kit will be performed by a SAFE (Sexual Assault Forensic Examiner) doctor or nurse, who is specially trained. The survivor can choose to stop the exam at any time. Upon completion of a rape kit, the survivor does not have to immediately file a report with the police. A hospital will store the rape kit for 30 days, which allows for the survivor to later decide if she/he wants to report to the police. The New York State Crime Victims Board covers any expenses incurred at the hospital. The survivor does not need health insurance. If the survivor does not choose to have a rape kit completed, she/he also has the option to go to the New York University Health Center (NYUHC), a local health clinic or their private physician for a general examination, emergency contraception, and sexual transmitted infection treatment and testing. Medical assistance at the NYUHC is available at Women's Health Services, the Men's Health Program, HIV Testing and Counseling and Urgent Care Services. Emotional NeedsA survivor of sexual assault can experience emotional as well as physical consequences. Sexual assault is a traumatic experience that can have both immediate and long-term effects. Initial reactions vary and may include shock, denial, anxiety, guilt, anger, and self-blame. A survivor may experience nightmares, changes in their eating patterns, and depression. Individuals who have been sexually assaulted are strongly encouraged to obtain help from a professional counselor as soon as they are ready after the incident occurs. A survivor can call the University Counseling Service, (212) 998-4780 to set up an appointment. Survivors can also call the Wellness Exchange (212) 443-9999 to talk about what happened and can do so anonymously, if they prefer. Students can even write an email to the Wellness Exchange at wellness.exchange@nyu.edu and a counselor will respond to them within a few hours. Seeking University and/or Legal ActionA survivor of sexual assault has the option to file an incident report with the Department of Public Safety. If she/he is interested in filing an incident report, they can contact any of the following: (212) 998-2222 Department of Public Safety The Department of Public Safety can connect the survivor with a Crisis Response Coordinator who can meet with them 24 hours a day as well as accompany the survivor to the hospital for a rape kit. Public Safety can assist the survivor in filing a complaint with the NYPD Special Victims Unit, if they so choose. Survivors can choose to report to NYU Judicial Affairs with or without filing an incident report with the Department of Public Safety. A written complaint must be delivered, mailed, or e-mailed to NYU Judicial Affairs to begin the informal grievance procedures. If a survivor is interested in filing a complaint, contact NYU Judicial Affairs at (212) 998-4403 or at thomas.grace@nyu.edu. I was sexually assaulted in the past. What can I do?Sexual assault, no matter when it happens, can change your life. It can change your view of yourself and others. You may experience changes in your sleeping and eating patterns. You may have nightmares or flashbacks about the assault. You may be afraid of being alone, or fear being in crowds. Support and help are available for you. You can call the Wellness Exchange 24-hour Support Line at (212) 443-9999 to talk about your experience. Counseling is also available at University Counseling Service, (212) 998-4780, by appointment. To speak with a counselor without an appointment, visit one of the walk-in clinics at NYU. I don't know what to call my experience, but I don't feel comfortable with a sexual encounter I had.If you've had a sexual encounter that left you feeling uncomfortable or violated, but you are not quite sure what to call it, there are people available to listen and support you. The following are such resources: (212) 443-9999 Wellness Exchange 24/7 hotline. (212) 998-4780 University Counseling Service Want to just stop by and speak with someone without an appointment? Visit a walk-in clinic at NYU. I'm feeling so many different emotions about this experience. Is this normal?Reactions to a traumatic experience such as sexual assault vary from person to person. The following are examples of both physical and emotional reactions that a survivor might experience: Physical Reactions
Emotional Reactions
My friend has been sexually assaulted, what can I do?Listen and allow the survivor to speak at her/his own pace. Sexual assault is a crime about power and control, not sex. It is important to return the control that was taken away from the survivor by allowing her/him to reveal information and make decisions when she/he feels comfortable. Believe unconditionally. Only 2% of reported rapes are false reports. This is no different from any other crime. It is important to assure your friend that you support her/him. Don't question actions. THE SURVIVOR IS NOT TO BLAME. A survivor's behavior does not cause sexual assault. No one asks to be sexually assaulted. Be careful of asking blaming questions such as, "Why didn't you scream?" or, "What were you wearing?" Encourage the survivor to seek help. She/he may need medical attention or additional support services. Encourage the survivor to contact the Wellness Exchange at (212) 443-9999 to speak with a counselor for support and discuss options. Don't ignore your own need to discuss your feelings. You can also contact the Wellness Exchange for information and support. Men as SurvivorsSexual assault affects us all, despite gender. Not until recently has the prevalence of the sexual assault of men been discussed. In fact, nearly 10% of all adult rape victims are male. There are many myths that a man may have to overcome throughout their healing process. Such myths are: Does rape only happen in prison?While it is true that sexual assault of males is a part of prison culture, the occurrence of male rape is not isolated to that culture. Sexual assault can occur at any place, and at any time. Are men who rape other men gay?Rape is not about sexual preference or desire-it is about power and control. The motivation of the rapist is to humiliate the other person. A survey of convicted rapists found that at least half of these men did not care about the gender of their victim; they raped both men and women. Most male rapists identify as heterosexual. Can rape happen to "real men?"Rape is something that can and does happen to an entire spectrum of men, regardless of physical strength or prowess. Being raped does not mean that the survivor is weak or a wimp. Anyone can be overpowered or taken by surprise. Size and strength is often no match for weapons, overwhelming odds, or a surprise attack. Can a man still have an erection if he is frightened?All studies so far have found that survivors commonly do report erections and even ejaculations while being raped. These are uncontrollable, automatic, physiological responses, and do not mean that the survivor enjoyed the experience. Can a women rape a man?Women can and do commit rape of men, although this is much less common than rape by men. Sexual assault of a man by one or more women is just as serious as any other type of violation. Protect Yourself Against Sexual AssaultI know that being assaulted is never the victim's fault, but are there measures I can take to protect myself?Know your sexual intentions and when you want to stop. You have the right to say "No" to any unwanted sexual contact. If you are uncertain about what you want, ask your date to respect your feelings. Communicate your limits firmly and directly. If you say "No," say it like you mean it. Don't give mixed messages. Back up your words with a firm tone of voice and clear body language. If you are lying down, for example, getting up can communicate this message. Don't assume that your date will automatically know how you feel, or will eventually "get the message" without your having to tell them. Listen to your gut feelings. If you feel uncomfortable or think you may be at risk, you probably are. Leave the situation immediately and go to a safe place. Don't be afraid to "make waves" if you feel threatened. If you feel you are being pressured or coerced into sexual activity against your will, don't hesitate to state your feelings and get out of the situation. A few minutes of social awkwardness or embarrassment is preferable to the trauma of sexual assault. Be careful not to let alcohol or other drugs decrease your ability to make quick, clear and unequivocal decisions. When on a first or blind date, go out with a group of friends. Go to a public place like a movie, a concert or restaurant. Carry money for a taxi and a charged cell phone. Have a plan if things go wrong. What if I went on the date willingly or started talking to the person first, doesn't that mean that I consented?You always have the right to say no, even if:
Men can help end rapeI would never want to hurt someone or be accused of sexual assault. What can I do to protect myself?Listen carefully. Take the time to hear what your date is saying. If you feel you are getting "mixed messages," ask for a clarification. Don't fall for the common stereotype that when someone says "No" they really mean, "Yes." "No" means "No." If someone says "No" to sexual contact, stop. Remember that date rape is a crime. It is never acceptable to use force in sexual situations, no matter what the circumstances. Don't assume that your date wants to have sex
Be aware that having sex with someone who is mentally or physically incapable of giving consent is rape. If you have sex with someone who is intoxicated, drugged, passed out, incapable of saying "No," or unaware of what is happening around him or her, you may be guilty of rape. Get involved if you believe someone is at risk. If you see someone using force or pressuring his or her date, don't be afraid to intervene by getting help. You may save someone from becoming a victim. Avoid clouding your judgment and understanding of what another person wants by using alcohol and other drugs. Safety at Bars and ClubsSometimes I go out to bars and parties, how can I protect myself there?Avoid being alone with someone you don't know well or who makes you feel uncomfortable. Suggest staying with a group. Never wander beyond where everyone is sitting. If you go to the bathroom away from the bar, take a friend with you. Avoid accepting a drink at a party or bar that you haven't seen prepared. It is best to buy your own beverages. If someone offers you a drink at a bar, club, or party, go to the bar and watch the drink being prepared. Carry the drink yourself to avoid having something placed in your drink without your knowledge. Avoid exchanging or sharing drinks with others, and/or leaving your drink unattended. If you realize that your drink has been left unattended, throw it away. Beware of people's behavior. If a person does not listen to you, stands too close, or seems to enjoy your discomfort, s/he may not respect your desires or limits. Always let someone (friend, roommate, etc.) know when you are going out and when you will be home I want to watch out for my friends. How can I do that?Go to events with friends. Stay together! Make sure everyone in the group gets home safely. Have a designated "sober" person when you go out to parties, clubs, or bars. Have a plan to check up on each other. Take steps to ensure your friends' safety. If one of your friends appears very intoxicated, gets sick after drinking a beverage, passes out and is difficult to awaken, seems to be having difficulty breathing, or is behaving in an uncharacteristic way, get emergency medical assistance immediately. Always be aware of your friends. Don't leave them alone or with someone they don't know. Make sure your friends know about predatory drugs, which could be slipped into their drinks. Warn friends about bars/clubs or parties where aggressive behavior is known to have occurred. |
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